Long Weekend

Yeah, yeah, I've been gone a while. I thought I made be done with this blog for good but here I am. So, I saw a lot of films since I last reviewed one. I may or may not review any of them. Time will tell. Today I watched Long Weekend and with this I return.

When I say Long Weekend I refer to the 1978 original, of course. As I understand, the 2008 remake is basically a shot-for-shot retelling of the story, so I ask you, "What's the point?".

First up, the tag line/promo line on the movie poster is genius.

Their Crime was against nature...nature found them guilty.

Also, it tells you everything you need to know about the film. Here is a couple that decide to take a break in nature for a long weekend. They appear to be a modern, suburban couple who have obviously hit a road block in their relationship. There is talk of an abortion, the child apparently the result of an affair the wife (Marcia) was/is having. The husband (Peter) also appears to be getting some on the side - the film starts with him parting from a woman that may be his lover.

Not the best premise for a weekend away.

They drive off with their (well, his) dog, Cricket, not the smartest of dogs. Marcia is in a piss-poor mood for most of the drive. This seems to be her default setting. Over the days to come there are some moments of tenderness between the couple, giving us some idea of what they once were. But this is only the backdrop.

To return to the promo from the poster, here are the ways in which they piss off nature:

Peter throws a cigarette out the car window, igniting what could be a wild fire.
Peter hits a kangaroo in the dark.
Marcia steals and later smashes an eagle egg. (A move I found particularly disgusting.)
Marcia applies bug spray everywhere.
Peter kills a dugong. Or not. This dugong is an especially ugly and fascinating beast.
Marcia hits ducklings with the car, splotches of blood and goo all over her windshield.

But this being Australia and horror and all, nature will have her payback.

This is awesome in a very 1970's kind of way.

7/10

La montagna del dio cannibale (Mountain of the Cannibal God)

Italian horror films of the 1970s are very entertaining once you give in to the ridiculousness of it all. This applies to Mountain of the Cannibal God as well as to any other example of the genre. Usually, there are one or two actors of international fame. In this case: Ursula Andress (yes, she will be naked at some point) and Stacy Keach.

She travels to New Guinea to look for her husband, who is lost in the jungle. Or so she claims. Her brother Arthur (one of a long list of Italian actors that always fill up all the less important roles) and her have quite a different agenda, but require the help of the rugged adventurer played by Stacy Keach - and later one Manolo that they pick up at a mission that they end up banned from. They brought sin and death with them.

Initially, they are also aided by a handful of locals that either die or run away or go to the dark side, which in this case is a cannibal tribe. The Keach character once was captured by the tribe and had to participate in their disgusting rituals. No wonder he is all emo.

Ultimately, only white people make the destination only to be captured by said tribe. While brother Arthur becomes dinner, Manolo is held captive and the Andress character is believed to be a God's wife. See, her late husband is believed to be a God and carried a photograph of the two together. He is also believed to be immortal because a Geiger counter he carried is still ticking away in lieu of his heart.

After some more unpleasantness, the two surviving Caucasians make their escape.

3/10

California Suite

The film follows four different story lines set in the same hotel, all of people either sparring off with each other verbally or - in one case - going at each other with everything they have.

My favorite coupling is played by the wonderful Maggie Smith and the equally wonderful Michael Caine. Smith plays actress Diana Barrie, who is in Hollywood because she was nominated for her first Oscar. Incidentally, Maggie Smith herself won the Best Supporting Actress award for this role.

Also out west is Jane Fonda, who flew in to meet with her ex-husband (played by Alan Alda) because their teenage daughter ran off. The pair has to settle the question of where their daughter will spend the year before going off to college.

Then there is Marvin Michaels (Walter Matthau), who is in town for his nephew's bar mitzvah. He spends a night out with his brother, who is something of a womanizer and - as a favor to Michael - hires a hooker for him. The hooker gets drunk on Tequila and Michael is unable to raise her in the morning in time before his wife arrives.

Lastly, two couples spend a vacation together, but they don't appear to have any fun at all. They trash the rental car, one room reservation got lost and it all dissolves when they spend the morning playing a mixed double of tennis. Then one of the wives hurts her ankle, a bottle of perfume breaks and the glass gets stepped in, a head is hit on the cabinet door, fainting spells, a few swings with a tennis racket and a brawl between the husbands concludes the trip.

Funny.

7/10

The Last Waltz

Listen up, kids!

This is what a concert should be.

No over-hyped auto-tuned 'singer'.
No crazy stage shows with colorful lights and vidiwalls.
No dance brigades and a gazillion costume changes.
Forget the Rhiannas and Beyoncés and Biebers and even the Madonnas.

Here is Martin Scorsese's version of The Band's last series of live concerts. Spiced up with interviews about their history and stories from various tours. It was a one-of-a-kind event thanks to the incredible list of guest performers that reads like a who is who of 1960's and 1970's music - The Staple Singers, Muddy Waters, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Neil Diamond, even Bob Dylan and many more.

Not only is this the greatest concert film ever (not only in my opinion) but I will go as far as stating that this is Martin Scorsese's best film to date. There, I said it.

If there is one thing I envy my parents' generation it is the music. They really had something special in the time before pop took over and style became more important than the craft itself.

This is music.

10/10

Magic

Fact...
Before he was Hannibal Lecter, larger than life criminal mastermind, Anthony Hopkins was a much younger, worried criminal.

Fact...
Dummies are creepy. In any film involving ventriloquism, the dummy will take control over the ventriloquist and make him do evil, illegal things.

Fact...
Even if you have no idea who Ed Lauter is, you have probably seen him before. Many times.

Fact...
Richard Attenborough can tell a decent stories in a much, much smaller context than his later film, Gandhi.

Fact...
Anthony Hopkins has a hairy chest. Not sure I ever needed to know that.

4/10