Guardians of the Galaxy

What to do on a rainy day in New York City? Watch a film, of course.

Now, on paper, I should not enjoy a film like Guardians of the Galaxy. I have never been much of a sci-fi fan to begin with and I am so over comic book films and superheroes. But, you know what...it was fun.

What set it apart from the pack for me were the raccoon, Groot, and the Awesome Mix of (mostly) 1980s tunes.

Most of the full-on action scenes were downright stupid and I don't quite see the point of disguising a handsome man like Lee Pace. I mean if you got it why not show it off, ya know? Fortunately, it was also very funny (Groot FTW).

Of course, I couldn't retell the story if my life depended on it. Something with a metal globe that everyone wanted to get their hands on and the main character turned out to be much more genetically blessed than he appears...and he appears just fine, thankyouverymuch.

Zoe Saldana is showing up a different hue this time around. Here she is green instead of blue. Seriously, girlfriend needs to find herself a film that does not play in outer space.

7/10

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Q: How do you turn a fantasy novel of 310 pages (my paperback edition) into three overly long 3D films?

A: You don't.

The first half of the second part of the Hobbit trilogy seemed to drag on forever. The quest of the dwarf and hobbit team was more about running over plains from the evil orks, walking through mysterious forests, escaping elfish prisons, climbing mountains, hiding in barrels under fish and puzzling over how to open one of those secret doors that appear to be strewn out all over Middle Earth than it was about actually standing up to the evil creature that stole your kingdom.

The second half (of the second part...blah blah, you get the picture) was stunning. There was actual fighting going on and inhabitants of Middle Earth (dwarf, man, elf) showing their true colors and some actual bravery. The elfs came to help the dwarfs fight the orks and save a dwarf's life (practically unheard of). There is even the kindling of romance blossoming between an elfish maid and a dwarf (here Peter Jackson hit a snooze button). A human hero seams to be emerging, as well. But we will have none of this until the last film.

But Smaug is an amazing creature. The part of Bilbo trying to steal the one jewel that will make Thorin king again from the dragon and the furious dragon hunting the intruders is this film's saving grace. It is even long enough to make one almost forget the tediousness one had to sit through to get there.

It is by no means a bad film. It is simply bloated. But anyone who has actually read The Hobbit could have told you that as soon as word got out that it would become a trilogy.

Surely, part three has an epic battle in store.

6/10