Blitz

Jason Statham is a one-trick pony. This time around he plays a cop (a rogue one, obviously) and does what he always does, no matter what side of the law he may be on in any particular role. He beats people up with a hurling stick, he bends the law at his pleasure, he releases angry dogs at someone he doesn't like, he chases after the baddie on foot and he even smokes in non smoking areas (imagine!)..."What are you gonna do? Shoot me?"

However, if you put Jason Statham in a cop movie and surround him with real actors you might actually get a decent film out of it. Decent enough, this is. Thanks to the likes of Paddy Considine, Aiden Gillen and David Morrissey.

The story...there is a guy going around killing cops (or "pigs" as he likes to call him) and law enforcement just can't nail him for it. Oh, they know who it is and they do get him into custody but have nothing concrete to hold him on. What is more, the guy is a total asshole and attention whore. So much so that he contacts a journalist to give him exclusives on the killings, probably just so that he can read about himself in the papers. And the name "Blitz" (as in Blitzkrieg)? He coined that himself.

But the local cops will get him eventually. If they cannot make any charges stick they will just have to take him out and put the blame on - wait for it - the cop killer that they cannot prove he is.

6/10

The Expendables 2

The sequel to Expendables features everybody (except for Steven Seagal, luckily), this time even Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. The latter is in it just to be in it. Pure courtesy. His character is of no significance to the story.

As for the story, Stallone and his gang (oh, Lundgren, you are awesome) are blackmailed into retrieving....oh, never mind. Nobody watches this for the plot, which is as insignificant as Chuck Norris.

It's fighting, shooting, bad jokes ("I'll be back.", "Yippie-ka-yay.", something about Rambo) and bad acting. An homage to good old no-nonsense 1980s action films.

Here's a picture of Dolph Lundgren. You're welcome.

(cannot be measured in stars)