Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

What is one to do on a 7+ hours flight? Watch a movie, of course. Preferably, a film that does not require one to think too much about what is happening on screen. So, action flick it is.

This happened midway between London and New York and the film chosen was Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Actually, it was the second attempt at a film. The first try was Fading Gigolo, which sounded awesome on paper but turned out to be very dull and it also made Vanessa Paradis as ugly and uninteresting as it possibly could, so I turned that off after a mere 30 minutes.

Unfortunately, Jack Ryan wasn't much better. After serving up the oh-so-tragic-but-totally-heroic intro of the war wounded Ryan and his way back to strength, aided by the insufferable Keira Knightly character, Ryan is recruited by the shady Kevin Costner character (I couldn't be bothered to remember any of the names) and soon appears to be the only undercover hot guy with brains available to assist in a covert operation in Russia - because that is where the bad guys still operate because Russia = bad and Hollywood simply has no other concept of any nation serving that particular purpose while still seem somewhat believable as a highly sophisticated nation (all the other baddies are in the religious extremist/Muslim category and they all live in dug-outs, wielding machine guns manufactured in the US).

Anyway, as if all of the above wasn't cliche enough, the Russian is played by a Brit. Because, of course he is. Luckily, that Brit is Kenneth Branagh (the films sole agreeable feature). He plans to attack *gasp* Wall Street. And who is the one who figures this out? The Keira Knightly character. Because, of course she does. What other purpose besides distraction device could she possibly serve?

Jack Ryan and his cohorts save the day.

Because, of course they do.

2/10

Love Actually

'Tis the time of year to watch Christmas themed movies. Before seeing my traditional Scrooged I re-watched the lovely Love Actually.

The film is made up of different relationship stories playing out in the weeks leading up to Christmas.

Billy Mack, an aging rock star, tries to make a comeback by making a shitty single, hoping to make the coveted Christmas no. 1. The song is a cover of Love Is All Around, in which the word 'love' is simply replaced by 'Christmas', no matter the difference in syllables. His promise is to strip on national TV if the buyers get his song to the no. 1 spot. It works. He ends up spending Christmas with his long time manager, realizing that he is the closest person to him in the world.

Writer Jamie, finding his girlfriend cheating on him with his brother, goes on a trip to France to work on a book. There, he is introduced to Aurelia, a Portuguese cleaning lady. She does not speak English, he does not speak Portuguese, which leads to cute conversations. Back in England he learns her language and goes back to propose to her, with her father, her sister and her entire neighborhood watching.

Daniel has recently lost his wife and is left to help his step son Sam with his conundrum. Sam is in love with a girl he believes does not know him. She sings and to get his attention he learns the drums and performs in her band during a Christmas show. But the world works against him. His beloved - Joanna - is about to leave for the US. Daniel and Sam rush to the airport so that Sam can profess his love.

Daniel's sister, Karen, has troubles of her own. She finds a gold heart on a chain in her husband Harry's pocket and believes this to be her Christmas present. On Christmas Eve, however, she gets to open a package of similar proportions to find a Joni Mitchell CD. The heart went to Daniel's new assistant Mia, who is basically offering herself up to him on a platter.

Harry's employee Sarah, who is in love with her colleague Karl, and everybody knows it. But when the two finally get together, Sarah gets sidetracked by a phone call from her brother Michael. Michael is in a mental institution and calls his sister a lot and she will always, always, always take the call. There seems to be no hope for Sarah and Karl.

Young Colin has everything figured out. He buys a ticket to the US because he is convinced that hot women just hang around in bars waiting for someone with a British accent. So upon landing in Milwaukee he walks into the first bar he chances upon. And he was right about everything. The women in the joint fall over themselves to get him to come home with them. They offer him a place to sleep, but only have one bed between four women and he will have to squeeze in with them. The poor girls are so poor they cannot afford pajamas and have to sleep naked....

Body doubles John and Judy meet while working on a film together. They act out different scenes in different stages of undress despite being rather shy and taking their sweet time before finally going out together.

Then there is the triangle of Mark, Peter and Juliet. Peter just married Juliet, who Mark is hopelessly in love with. As a self defense mechanism he barely speaks with Juliet who thinks that he cannot stand her.

And then there is the new prime minister to Britain, brother to Karen and Daniel, who on his first day in office falls in love with Natalie, who works at Downing Street 10 until his discomfort with the situation makes him request she be moved elsewhere. After receiving a Christmas card from Natalie, he goes off in search for her. Knowing only the name of the street where she lives, he knows on every door until he finds her, leaving people confused. He even has to sing carols for a trio of little girls.

One of those films I can watch over and over again. So sweet and so funny.

7/10