Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes

Of the many film versions of the Tarzan story, this is probably the one honoring the original tale thought up by Edgar Rise Burroughs, whose Tarzan was a much more intelligent creature than often portrayed.

The first part of the film is almost entirely without (human) dialogue and depicts young Jean/John/Tarzan as an infant growing up around and with apes, always protected by his caring mother. The film goes through four ages played by boys before settling on young Christopher Lambert. He loses his 'mother' to a party of explorers and in a tumult that follows (explorers, natives, apes) Philippe D'Arnot (Ian Holm) gets injured and left behind. John nurses him back to health and D'Arnot in return teaches him in language and the ways of the world.

They eventually return to John's grandfather's estate in England, who is overjoyed to welcome back a part of his family, having lost his son (John's father) after his ship wrecked, leaving him and his young wife stranded in the jungle, where both eventually died, leaving their infant son to be raised by chimpanzees.

At the estate he meets Jane, a relative staying with his grandfather. He appears to be settling in rather well but falls apart again after his grandfather also dies. When he, now Lord Greystoke, finds his ape 'father' caged in town, he breaks him out, but the ape gets shot during the escape. Losing yet another member of his family, John returns to what he believes to be his real home, becoming Lord of the jungle.

An ok version of the classic material.

5/10

Me and You and Everyone We Know

This is indie darling Miranda July's first feature length film as a director.

It starts with shoe salesman Richard (John Hawkes) getting thrown out by his wife and him setting his own hand on fire to entertain his sons. WTF? Right?

He meets and starts up a relationship with video artist and freelance taxi driver Christine (July), while she takes a client shoe shopping. Their relationship is in no way straight forward and often interrupted. They will, eventually, work it out.

Meanwhile, Richard's sons Peter and Robby spend (waste?) their time in an online chat room, possibly mistankenly using the emoticon ))< >((. This, apparently, translates to "pooping back and forth, forever". (But you probably knew that, anyway.) The emoticon prompts a woman to suggest a real-life meeting.

The woman on the chat room turns out to be the curator of an art exhibiton that accepts one of Christine's little videos.

Also, there are two teenage girls giving head to Richard's colleague because they want to know which one of the two is better at it. The guy decides they are equally good.

Strangely enough, all this weirdness is entertaining.

from Roger Ebert's review:
As Richard slowly emerges from sadness and understands that Christine values him, and he must value her, for reasons only the two of them will ever understand, the movie holds its breath, waiting to see if their delicate connection will hold.

7/10

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

This film is perfect.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof features two of the greatest movie stars ever. What's more, both are at their most beautiful in it.

Elizabeth Taylor is Maggie, the 'Cat', married to Brick, who - when drunk one night - decided to relive his glory jock days by jumping hurdles in the dark. Not as agile as he once was, he falls and ends up on crutches. And this right when they are to celebrate Big Daddy's birthday with the family.

The relationship between Maggie and a ceaselessly drinking Brick is strained to the maximum, gleefully noticed by Brick's sister-in-law, Mae, who believes that her husband Gooper is more worthy of Big Daddy's love, always having stayed in line and produced grandchild after grandchild after grandchild.

But the difficult dynamics among the brothers and their wives are not all that is plagueing the family on this suposedly joyous occasion. Big Daddy has terminal cancer, a fact the doctor chooses to hide from him and Big Mama but shares with the sons.

Big Daddy, annoyed with all the attention and the bickering, retreats to the basement where he talks and fights with Brick and evantually learns that he is, in fact, dying and Gooper and Mae are already in the process of securing Gooper's place in the family succession.

Wonderfully acted by all. They don't make films like that anymore.

Love it!

Bonus pic of one of the most handsome actors ever!

10/10

Butter

US State Fairs are wondrous and exciting things. Of course, one wants to be the one to represent one's county at the State Fair in the butter carving contest. I understand this.

I have been to the Iowa State Fair in the year 1990 (yes, a long time ago) and I generally like films set in places I have been - here, besides the Fair itself we also have a car dealership in Iowa Falls. I lived a 20 minute drive from Iowa Falls! OMG!

...

(C'mon, now! Calm down!)

...

Right, Butter.

In the Midwest, people value family and the little joys in life - like winning the regional butter carving contest. Professional wife Laura Pickler (Jennifer Garner) is not at all happy with the committee's decision that her husband Bob (Ty Burrell), the carving champion for 15 years running, will be kept out of the competition and is supposed to be 'promoted' to judge status.

Laura is not one to take this lying down and takes matters or, rather, butter into her own hands and plans to keep the crown in the family, when out of nowhere this little foster child Destiny, who appears to be a natural in sculpting butter, comes to compete with her. Destiny is backed by her new foster parents (Rob Dorddry and Alicia Silverstone) and Bob's discarded lover/pole dancer Brooke (Olivia Wilde). Not even lies and manipulation, all courtesy of Laura's car dealer/lap dog (Hugh Jackman), can keep young Destiny from beating Laura.

Kinda cute.

6/10

Roger Ebert, 1942-2013

Roger Ebert passed away yesterday after a long battle with cancer.

He was the first film critic to win a Purlitzer Prize and to receive a star on the Walk of Fame. And he wrote some of the most entertaining and honest reviews of films.

Roger Ebert's Journal

Roger Ebert Dead at 70 after Battle with Cancer (Chicago Sun-Times)
Roger Ebert Dead: Legendary Film Critic Dies at Age 70 (Huffington Post)
I Do Not Fear Death (Salon)
A Critic for the Common Man (NY Times)

I know it is coming, and I do not fear it, because I believe there is nothing on the other side of death to fear. I hope to be spared as much pain as possible on the approach path. I was perfectly content before I was born, and I think of death as the same. What I am grateful for is the gift of intelligence, and for life, love, wonder, and laughter.

Big Fan

Paul is a die-hard NY Giants fan, hanging out in the parking lot of the stadium with his friend Sal, because they can't afford the tickets. Paul still lives with his mother, works as a cashier of a garage and spends his working hours composing little speeches to give when calling into his favorite radio show, where he is known only as "Paul from Staten Island".

When he and Sal run into their favorite Giants player Quantrell Bishop one night and follow him into a night club before going up and talking to him, what starts as light banter turns ugly when Bishop, who is intoxicated at this point, realizes that the two fans have been following him. Paul gets beaten to a pulp by his hero and spends a few days in the hospital.

He has a difficult time coping and deciding whether or not to pursue a law suit against Bishop, who has not been playing because of pending legal issues in connection to the beating. The Giants, meanwhile, cannot seem to see any land without Bishop, which prompts Paul to tell the police he 'can't remember' the incident and basically shutting down the investigation.

When his lawyer brother initiates a law suit without telling him, his name gets published in the papers and his radio talk show nemesis 'Philadelphia Phil' makes the connection that the victim is actually the regular caller 'Paul from Staten Island', Paul's little life comes apart at the seems. He takes off to Philadelphia to confront Phil.

Nice little film.

6/10

Winged Creatures (aka Fragments)

This is the story of a random shooting spree in a diner and how the survivors deal with what they have been through.

The waitress, probably not a good mother to begin with, neglects her infant son and tries to get close to a doctor, who left the diner just before the shooting started. In fact, he held the door open for the shooter on his way out. In the aftermath, he starts giving his wife medication that cause her massive headaches.

The black guy, who apparently just go the news that he suffers from cancer, starts to have incredible luck and takes it into a casino where he wins massively before getting in bed with the wrong people and having his arm deliberately broken by them.

The daughter who loses her father goes all born again Christian (as if Dakota Fanning wasn't annoying enough simply by being Dakota Fanning) and tells tale of her father's bravery. Her friend simply stops talking altogether, until the very end when he finally makes her tell the truth about her father's 'bravery'.

Aiming to make you cry, which doesn't quite work. It is just too sentimental.

3/10