L'Immortel (22 Bullets)

Just give me a film with Jean Reno and I will be entertained. Any film with him will do. L'Immortel is no exception. It also features Kad Merad (of Bienvenue chez les Ch'tis fame), which is a bonus.

The film starts with Jean Reno (character name: Charly), retired mafia-esque bad guy, visiting his mother with his small son in tow. On their way home to Marseille, they sing along to opera arias and the little boy is let out of the car to watch a street performance (featuring a dancing goat) while daddy drives off to find a parking space. It's a good thing the boy was not in the car, as it turns out. As he exits the car, a group of heavily armed (rival?) gangsters stop their vehicle in front of him, unloading their collected gun into him. Charly breaks down, bleeding, his body riddled with 22 bullets (hence, the English title). Miraculously, he survives (hence, the French title). This, of course, requires revenge.

Before Charly goes on his killing spree, however, he loses one close associate, which is what really tips the scale. Shortly after the funeral, Charly walks into a birthday celebration of the murderous group and announces that he will come for them. But instead of killing them all then and there, he promises to come for them one by one, when they least expect it. He is there to kill the birthday boy, only. His plan and announcement to spread the revenge out makes for a better premise for the film. Without it, there might not even be a film.

And then the violence commences. There are shootouts, assassination attempts, betrayal, car and motorcycle chases, hiding family members and the desperate police force trying to solve the initial attack on Charly as well as figuring out what the hell else is going on.

And to not belie the title, Charly survives again and again situations that would have killed off a lesser man.

Works for me.

6/10

The Streaming Project

Hello.

It's been a while.

For the longest time I didn't see the point of posting updates to this blog because, you know, nobody reads this. Then I again, this is a way of keeping track of all the stuff I watch, which is a lot. So, once again, I resume.

Since the last time I was here I not only got Netflix but also ordered Amazon Prime. To make it worth it, I decided to watch everything on both platforms. This is, of course, ludicrous. But I will do the best I can. This will make the title of my blog much truer, I expect.

Doctor Who: Marco Polo

The Roof of the World/The Singing Sands/Five Hundred Eyes/The Wall of Lies/Rider from Shang-Tu/Mighty Kublai Khan/Assassin at Peking

And now for a little history lesson courtesy of Doctor Who. We meet Marco Polo, at the time employed and/or held captive with a constant promise of release and the possibility of return to his home dangled before him like a carrot before a donkey. We also get acquainted with the mighty Kublai Khan.

My memory of this serial (and, indeed, a few serials to follow) is sketchy, but it involves tricking a Chinese emperor and fighting off would-be assassins as well as assisting Mr. Polo in his quest to finally be freed.

What I do remember about this serial (and, indeed a few serials to follow) is that at this point I don't actually care for the show. Yet. I have seen a couple of the new episodes and know that some of the old stuff must be good or at the least watchable. Season 1 is not quite there yet. The First Doctor does not seem at all impressively smart and says "hm" a lot.

But I'll be damned if I don't find the point when everything starts to make sense and I will understand why this show is such a cult phenomenon.

3/10

Long Weekend

Yeah, yeah, I've been gone a while. I thought I made be done with this blog for good but here I am. So, I saw a lot of films since I last reviewed one. I may or may not review any of them. Time will tell. Today I watched Long Weekend and with this I return.

When I say Long Weekend I refer to the 1978 original, of course. As I understand, the 2008 remake is basically a shot-for-shot retelling of the story, so I ask you, "What's the point?".

First up, the tag line/promo line on the movie poster is genius.

Their Crime was against nature...nature found them guilty.

Also, it tells you everything you need to know about the film. Here is a couple that decide to take a break in nature for a long weekend. They appear to be a modern, suburban couple who have obviously hit a road block in their relationship. There is talk of an abortion, the child apparently the result of an affair the wife (Marcia) was/is having. The husband (Peter) also appears to be getting some on the side - the film starts with him parting from a woman that may be his lover.

Not the best premise for a weekend away.

They drive off with their (well, his) dog, Cricket, not the smartest of dogs. Marcia is in a piss-poor mood for most of the drive. This seems to be her default setting. Over the days to come there are some moments of tenderness between the couple, giving us some idea of what they once were. But this is only the backdrop.

To return to the promo from the poster, here are the ways in which they piss off nature:

Peter throws a cigarette out the car window, igniting what could be a wild fire.
Peter hits a kangaroo in the dark.
Marcia steals and later smashes an eagle egg. (A move I found particularly disgusting.)
Marcia applies bug spray everywhere.
Peter kills a dugong. Or not. This dugong is an especially ugly and fascinating beast.
Marcia hits ducklings with the car, splotches of blood and goo all over her windshield.

But this being Australia and horror and all, nature will have her payback.

This is awesome in a very 1970's kind of way.

7/10

The Big Game of Thrones Meltdown (Yet Another One)

Did you miss me? Probably not because nobody is actually reading this. Oh well, such is life. Anyway, I am changing the way I am doing this (again) and will move away from standard reviews. I may do some yet, but this will be much more free form from now on.


Everybody is going mental again about the cruelty of Game of Thrones. Shouldn't we all know better by now. Personally, I chose to take things in stride. And as someone who has actually read the books and was less shocked in the past I find it somewhat thrilling that the writers of the TV show have departed from the books quite significantly. Even playing field, at last!

The biggest shocks of season 5, according to all the feels displayed all over the internet, are Sansa's rape, Stannis sacrificing his daughter to the God of Light and Jon Snow's death by his sworn brothers hands. Half the audience is still hoping he made it, magically. Yeah....no. But hey, people have been known to come back to some kind of life on GoT, so maybe there is hope.

Granted, Sansa got handed a very raw deal. That Ramsay Bolton (formerly Snow) is a real piece of work. (Care for a surprise? Go and watch the English sitcom Vicious. Here, Iwan Rheon (aka Ramsay Bolton) plays the hapless and slightly stupid character Ash, who is about as different from his GoT character as he can possibly be.) And what horrible timing! Just when the poor girl finally makes it to the broken tower to alert Brienne of Tarth that she really needs some saving here, Stannis decides to march on Winterfell.

Which brings us to the second big one. The Red Woman (now there's a character to hate on!) has at long last convinced Stannis to sacrifice little Shireen to the God of Light. They burn the child alive. And her mother, who actually brought that wretched Red Woman into all their lives in the first place, suddenly grows a conscience and wants this to Just! Stop! Stannis, trapped in his stubborn, regal skin shows barely any emotion but his distraught wife cannot live with herself after this.

The result of the sacrificial burning of Shireen is not at all what Stannis or the Red Woman expected. The vision Melisandre had was of burning Bolton banners. A clear sign that Stannis is to be victorious, surely. What happens after the sacrificial burning of his child is, in fact, the polar opposite.

And am I the only that mourns Stannis Baratheon? He was actually one of my favorite characters. Not that I believe him to be right. His belief in the visions of Melisandre were so obviously misguided but he genuinely believed that he was the rightful ruler of the Seven Kingdoms and any god would be on his side.

I am less sorry to see Jon Snow go, however horrified the community may be about this. He was actually one of my least favorite characters (right after the Mother of Dragons, which may have to do with her being portrayed by an only marginally talented actress). All the righteousness and goodness and hair! But, really, he knew nothing. Good riddance.

The Bourne Legacy

For the longest time I thought that in The Bourne Legacy Jeremy Renner simply replaced Matt Damon as Jason Bourne. Not so. This film covers the second generation of special operatives and/or trained assassins.

If I got all this straight, during the Treadstone Project they were called Assets, for the Blackfriar Project they were Outcomes and then there is also a new project (but very hush-hush) called LARX and the operatives are called, well, LARX.

What is covered here is the story of what happened after (or while) the New York Jason Bourne fiasco took place. The ultimate asset (Bourne) and LARX #3 are merely the bookends to the story, however. Here we concentrate on Outcome Aaron Cross. This is the Jeremy Renner role.

Behind the scenes of Blackfriar (up to a point) and LARX (hush!) is Edward Norton, who runs a detail and yells at people around him, one of which is played by Stacy Keach. So, we have established that Stacy Keach is still alive and still working. Has he been in anything else lately?

And yes, this is all a adrenaline rush again. But if you (and I) thought that The Bourne Ultimatum had an impressive cast, well, this one here is even more impressive (see above and add Oscar Isaac as one of the Outcomes, Rachel Weisz as the Damsel in Distress and Zeljko Ivanek as a scientist that goes coo-coo; also they put Corey Stoll in the background and threw him a few lines).

The big chase here is car/motorbike, initially, and then moves to motorbike/motorbike.

A tiny step down from the previous two but still a nail biter.

6/10

The Bourne Ultimatum

At long last, Jason Bourne remembers how he became what he is. Random memories come flooding in on him at the most inopportune times. The conclusion is devastating.

But first, some irritation. We ended part two in New York with a phone call between Bourne and Pamela Lindy. This scene also happens in part three of the saga, but not before going back to Moscow, then London, Madrid and Algiers. Also, there is a short visit in Paris. The payoff this time, however, is that everything will finally make sense.

Contrary to the first two Bourne films, here we not only get a car chase (in New York, no less!) but also a chase on foot an one involving a motorcycle, both in Algiers, when Bourne is running from and then after an assassin (or "asset" as they are called in this universe).

The cast of these films just keeps getting better. This one features not only Joan Allen and Julia Stiles, whom we have both encountered before, but Scott Glenn, Albert Finney, Paddy Considine, Daniel Brühl, David Strathairn (always a welcome sight) and Édgar Ramírez (who, if I am not mistaken, has all of one line despite being on screen a considerable amount of time).

Now, what could the next one possibly have in store for us?

8/10

Non-Stop

This was exciting!

An US air marshal with a whole list of personal issues is getting texts from an unknown fellow passenger requesting a money transfer or every 20 min. someone will get killed. And that is what happens, because everything is made out to frame the air marshal, here played by Liam Neeson (finally not the "I will find you and I will kill you!" guy).

What follows is a guy trying to save himself and the passengers while everyone around him suspects that he is responsible for all of this. His only loyal aid is the woman that sits next to him on the plane, while everyone else is eyeing him suspiciously.

Of course, passengers start taking things into their own hands, trying to overwhelm the air marshal. One person on board is law enforcement himself, working for NYPD, and rallying the troops around him.

In the end, of course, the Liam Neeson character will be redeemed and become the celebrated hero that saved all but a few lives (the ones killed in 20 min. intervals).

Pure entertainment.

7/10

The Bourne Supremacy

Onward with the Jason Bourne story.

This is two years after part one ended. Jason and Marie have put some distance between themselves and whoever is out to kill him or both of them and are now in Goa, India. However, the vengeful arm of the agency or anyone they are connected with reaches there, too. The assassin sent to do away with Bourne and opting to do away with Marie instead turns out to be Russian. We later learn he is Secret Service in Moscow.

Meanwhile, in Berlin, two agents are killed while on a mission and at the crime scene a partial print that matches Jason Bourne's is discovered. This happened under the eye of one Pamela Landy, a woman surprisingly far in the dark for someone that high up on the corporate ladder and calling shots. So, still everyone is after Bourne and Bourne is after everyone that is after him.

Some - but far from all - of the loose ends from part one are tied up. Need to leave some for part three, no. The inevitable car chase this time takes place in Moscow. No glass panes smashed far as I could see.

The point of irritation in this one...no matter how big or small the place, assassins just happen to run into their targets and vice versa. Seriously, Jason Bourne is randomly spotted in Moscow by his nemesis.This is a town of about 11,5 million citizens. Even if you are in the same approximate area the chances of you running into each other would be slim, at best.

Still, not bad for a film wedged in between two others storywise.

7/10

The Towering Inferno

This is the 1970's disaster movie in all its glory.

There is a FIRE in the HIGHEST BUILDING ON EARTH on the night of its first big party way, way up on its top floor. It may all be the fault of the owner's son-in-law, who was responsible for the electric wiring and cut corners because he was expected to work as cheaply as possible. Wouldn't want to upset wife's daddy, since he's got the big bucks and all.

While the attendees of the party are kept in the dark for a bit, because the building is so state of the art and the fire is way down on the 81st floor (initially), surely there is nothing to worry about. Wouldn't want to cause a panic when nothing much may be happening.

Among the ones not blissfully ignorant to the unfolding disaster are the architect and the commander of the fire department, heroically portrayed by professional heroes Paul Newman and Steve McQueen. Also on their side is the security chief, played by O.J. Simpson back in the day when he could still get a job in films.

The fire expands and expands looking magnificent and, yes, people will die, because in the 1970's everything was out to get you.

Of all the disaster movies of the decade, this is the one with all the stars in it. I kind of love it.

7/10

Barefoot

Believe me when I tell you that this remake has nothing on the original. Somehow they managed to suck all the charm out of a lovely story.

The original film is German and bears the same name (Barfuß). It was written and directed by Til Schweiger, who also plays the lead. Yes, you know him from Inglourious Basterds. The barefoot mental patient is played by Johanna Wokalek. The film - as it came out in 2005 - was fine the way it was and did not need an Americanization.

Rather than go into the details of the remake, let me just tell you about my biggest disappointment: Evan Rachel Wood or, rather the character she portrayed here. She plays Daisy as a ditsy blonde, hopping from one embarrassment to the next for - I'm guessing - cheap laughs. The character (of a different name) did get her fair share of laughs in the German film without trying so hard. Whereas then she was mentally ill, here she is just plain stupid, at times even crass - a far cry from the quiet sweetness and innocence that Johanna Wokalek brought to the same role.

This is the kind of film that makes me wish that American audiences finally got over their arrogance about foreign films and learned how to read subtitles. Their lives would be so much richer for it.

Oh so disappointing.

3/10

The Bourne Identity

This was all just a big misunderstanding.

See, the agency is not aware of Jason Bourne's memory loss, so obviously they have to assume that he has gone rouge, after failing his task and all. But poor Jason doesn't remember who he is and all he knows is that he has six passports and a pile of money stacked away and everyone is out to get him. And then, to cover their tracks, his bosses blame him when the original task is finished after all while at the same time hunting Bourne down. Such is the outline.

Not the first time I am watching this film but I am immediately irritated. My problem? How did Jason Bourne get into Switzerland from whatever port he came to land? By regular train and without a passport? You do not get into Switzerland without a passport. For that matter, how does he get out of the country with his employers practically on his heels from the get go?

So, everything Jason Bourne does, he does by instinct. Except ditch Marie. She is a liability from the start, obviously. He should have ditched her before they even made out. His instincts should have told him so. Does he have a conscience? Because of his amnesia? By all accounts he should be ruthless and efficient, no?

Or, better yet, Marie should walk away much sooner than she does. She is on the verge of leaving for half the film anyway. But of course, Bourne needs a ball and chain to hinder him from doing what needs to be done effectively. Otherwise, this would be a different kind of film. Maybe a better film.

On the whole, I liked this better the first time around.

6/10

Berberian Sound Studio

For someone who likes horror films and has some interest in how certain things are actually done in movies, like me, this is the perfect film. Something I also appreciate, is that the film puts a wonderful character actor like Toby Jones in the center of things. The rest of the cast are Italian, which is only right for a story that is set in the world of 1970's Italian Giallo films.

The story is somewhat convoluted and does not make a whole lot of sense at times. However, mostly the story is inconsequential. Or maybe it is supposed to represent Gilderoy going off the rails over the course of the story.

If you expect a film about the sounds created in a studio to spice up the horror on the screen to be actually entertaining on a horror film level, this film is not for you. The pace is slow, the acting is far from flashy (how could it be with Toby Jones playing the lead?), but this is beautifully staged and framed.

Also, vegetables get a lot of screen time. Fresh, hacked to pieces, cooking, rotting in ever growing amounts.

Not for everyone, but definitely for me.

8/10

Lucy

This film works on the premise that a human only uses 10% of his/her brain. While this is not quite accurate it's probably just as well. We don't watch action films for their scientific soundness. My guess would be that most would watch this particular one for Scarlett Johansson. And maybe the shooting and reckless driving and stuff.

Granted, this is fun and all.

However, for me there was one big nuisance. People walk through this film in broad daylight, in crowded areas clearly brandishing guns and nobody reacts in any kind of way to that. Seriously, if you have a bunch of Koreans taking machine guns out of the trunks of big black cars in the middle of Paris, someone would see, no? Sure, it doesn't matter one way or the other for the way the film turns out, but nevertheless it is cause for irritation.

The film is visually cool, the premise is interesting, the shootouts are plentiful and the inclusions of animal scenes to hint at what is about to happen (a mouse right before stepping into a mouse trap representing Lucy right before entering a fateful meeting) are kind of cool, too.

There are some scenes that look like a tribute to Terrence Malick (the locust in Days of Heaven, the dinosaurs in The Tree of Life) and evoke a similar WTF? reaction, but they do make a weird kind of sense in Lucy.

Interesting. Entertaining. Imperfect.

6/10

Thorne: Sleepyhead

British TV crime dramas focusing on the police side of things usually feature a damaged lead character. The damaged one in this is the Thorne in the title. 

Tom Thorne that is, who carries a secret from a previous case, shared with only one other person on the force. In the disappearance of several women in their 20's who later turn up dead or, in one essential case, alive but suffering from locked-in syndrome. Details from the previous case - a man that killed gay boys, then his three daughters - keep popping up and putting additional strain on Thorne and his working relationship with other law enforcement officers.

Obviously, as there is only one other person who knows what Tom did, he looks like he would be involved in the current case. To what extent he actually is a participant in what is happening is not clear (obviously, it will be clear in the end).

As many other British TV dramas, this is very very good. It appears that the best stuff the Brits produce they actually make for TV rather than the big screen. Seriously, they make shows in the quality of Luther, Broken Mirror, Sherlock on a regular basis, while their more popular movies are overly sentimental and drawn out. My opinion only, obviously.

The cast is fantastic, featuring David Morrisey as Tom Thorne (The Walking Dead's Governor), Aidan Gillen (Game of Throne's Littlefinger) and Eddie Marsan (one of Ray Donovan's brothers) as well as many excellent bit players.

There is another Thorne episode, called Scaredycat, soon to be watched by me.

8/10

Interstellar

This is all kinds of awesome. It looks great and it is engrossing. Everything that a sci-fi film should be. And I have absolutely no idea what was actually going on. Also a standard in a sci-fi film.

Lemme see if I can convey what happened - as I understand it.

Cooper used to be an astronaut and is now a corn farmer. The year is sometime in the future. Not sure when. The bookcase corresponds with his daughter Murph, or so she thinks. What or who truly communicates could be anything from a poltergeist (Murph's initial idea), 'them' or maybe Cooper himself from the future. Anyway, the message is either coordinates or the word 'stay' or both. The coordinates lead to NASA, where Cooper runs into his old pal Dr. Brand. He is recruited to go on a mission to find an alternative planet for the people of earth, because the one currently occupied is dying and/or killing them all.

Plan A is to find a planet and take earthlings to that planet. This turns out to have never actually been a viable option. Dr. Brand simply made up this story for people working on the project to keep working on it. Because (presumably) you will work harder to save yourself and your families than all mankind.

Plan B (and this is the one that was always going to be put in action) is to send frozen embryos to whatever livable planet is discovered on the mission and sort of reinvent mankind.

Cooper goes on the mission under false assumptions. So, apparently, does everyone else on the spaceship with him, including Dr. Brand's daughter. Of course, time passes with different speeds depending on where you are in the universe and whether or not you go through a wormhole/black hole. The difference on the other end of the hole relative to time on earth is 1 month = 7 years. This sucks for someone who left behind his two young children, as Cooper has. When he realizes what this could mean, the mission becomes more desperate for him. He needs to complete the task as quickly as possible. But then he learns of Dr. Brand's rouse and several complications along the way make the mission even harder.

While Cooper and his fellow astronauts are off in space, back home on earth life moves on for his children, as well. The son, Tom, takes over the family farm and the daughter, Murph, was always a potential scientist. After she learns of Dr. Brand's story and plans, she tries saving mankind from her end, as well.

And yes, I know how all of this sounds.

I maintain that I barely understand whatever was going on onscreen. But it sure is pretty to look at.

8/10

The Sisterhood of Night

Under normal circumstances I would not be remotely interested in watching a film about a group of high school girls that form a secret club or cult or whatever. The title even has the word sisterhood in it. I mean, come on. (I have yet to see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.) However, these are not normal circumstances because Kal Penn is in this.

I actually enjoyed this film. Believe me, I am as surprised as you.

The premise is as stated above. A group of high school girls meet in secret to do secret things that nobody not in that group knows nothing about. The girls even quit Facebook. How suspicious is that? But when you are a curious high school girl yourself and excluded from the group but still want to know more about it or at least appear to know something about it you have to simply make things up.

From there, things just spin out of control. Rumors start flying and since the sisterhood is vowed to secrecy, they do not counter any of the accusations about what they are doing out at night in the woods. Then the parents catch half a whiff of something fishy happening and things go from bad to worse.

So, you have this pot full of secrecy, rumors, peer pressure, overly protective parents and the almighty internet in the hands of mindless teenagers. This can only lead to tragedy. And it does. This, however, is not a secret because a voice over tells us so at the very beginning.

Then, when everything comes out and the sisterhood turned out to be nothing at all what everyone thought it was but - rather unexpectedly in today's teenage culture - a net of safety, basically, the film becomes positive and beautiful and forgiving. Kitschy, yes, but it made me happy nonetheless.

7/10

Hitman

There is a lot of shooting in this film. Probably to be expected from a film about Hitman, but still, a lot of shooting.

The hitman in question is one of many, apparently. All of them bald, all of them with a bar code tattooed onto the back of their bald heads. The one whose story we follow was given the number 47 by the people that raised him or, rather, trained him to become what he is. He is very good at what he does. So much so that one of the top Interpol agents is trailing him. And Agent 47 himself becomes a target, four agents come after him at the same time. All four presumably had the same training he did.

Why did he become a target in the first place? That is what he is trying to find out.

When he is sent to assassinate a high profile Russian politician - and seemingly fails - he is set up by whatever agency is behind all this. Then, to save himself and the politician's whore/lover/property, he goes rouge.

Now his fellow agents, Interpol and a Russian agency are all after him. Agent 47, being as good as he is, takes out pretty much everyone that has wronged him (the casualty count is rather high) and, in the end, walks away. Also, he turns out to have a heart.

Very, very entertaining. Also, something to tide me over my current Timothy Olyphant withdrawal that set in as soon as Justified officially ended. (My poor bleeding heart!)

7/10

The Lady from Shanghai

Oh, Michael O'Hara, you should've never taken that job. Your first instincts are usually right. But, damn, that woman blinded you, didn't she?

When seaman Michael agrees to join a rather bizarre boat trip, his fate is pretty much sealed. He starts working for a Mr. Bannister, a lawyer walking in a weird way with the help of two canes. This the day after he meets and saves (or did he?) Mrs. Bannister. The married couple couldn't be more different in the looks department, she gorgeous, he scrawny. Later Mr. Bannister's business partner, one George Grisby, joins the trip.

Everyone of the three have their own agenda, every one of those agenda's includes killing someone and also involves poor Michael O'Hara. George hires him to kill Bannister. Mrs. Bannister apparently wanted George to kill her husband, but in the end it is George that turns up dead with O'Hara framed for the murder. Or, rather, he sort of framed himself by writing out a confession to the murder he agreed to pretend to have committed. Yes, it is all a bit convoluted.

Lucky (or maybe not) for O'Hara, Bannister agrees to defend him in court. The procedures take a turn for the ridiculous when Bannister himself is called to the witness stand and - after being cross-examined by the prosecutor - cross-examines himself, much to the amusement of judge and jury.

In the end, O'Hara runs before a verdict can be announced. Mrs. Bannister runs after him and they end up in a fun house. Before long, Mr. Bannister joins them there and the final showdown, when the truth of what actually happened comes out, takes place in a hall of mirrors.

Twists! Turns! Orson Welles! Rita Hayworth!

7/10

1984

Only recently did I become aware that there was a film version of George Orwell's brilliant novel 1984 before the widely known one from, well, 1984.

This came out in 1956. Other than it being in black and white, it is the same film. Now, my memory of the John Hurt/Richard Burton version is a bit sketchy by now (must watch that again soon) but I don't think that it contained anything that the older version does not provide.

That it also to say that this is rather brilliant, as well. The only significant difference I could notice has not so much to do with the merit of the tale but with the look. The setting may be as bleak as one would expect. What is much, much prettier than should be in my opinion is Julia (here credited as Julia of the Outer Party). This is the classic Hollywood beauty of old, with always perfect blond hair in 1950's style and perfectly made up. Of course, this was made before it became fashionable for any actress worth her salt to play 'ugly'.

But in the end, 2 + 2 = 5. Because Big Brother says so.

8/10