Mission: Impossible III

Okay, I admit, I totally lost the plot. Again.

Who double crosses who? Is everyone involved in shady activities? How do all these characters climb so high within the agency? What the fuck is even going on? And where is the rabbit foot? Or what, even? Wait, are they actually all just wearing one of those nifty masks?

So the nemesis this time around is played by the late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman (reminding us again, that he was one of the greatest actors ever and is still sorely missed). Here he is not only just a bad guy, he is a sadistic, vengeful bad guy that swears to not only hurt Ethan, but also his fiance (later wife) for kidnapping him and stealing from him.

The team surrounding Ethan appears to be going rogue now and again. Or maybe it is their boss(es) who are the rogue ones (see above). Anyway, after kicking it of with yet another failed mission, here trying to rescue a fellow agent from somewhere in Berlin, the group's target is Owen Davian (the Hoffman character). By use of their fantastic gadgets, general geniality and one of those nifty masks, they pull off their mission in the Vatican (?), only to be attacked while transporting their prisoner (possibly by their own boss(es), again see above).

Then the wife (formerly fiance) is kidnapped and Ethan is told he has 48 hrs to retrieve and provide Davian with the rabbit foot (whatever that may be). For this, they need to go to Shanghai (because, of course). Again, gadgetry and stuff.

Then we come to the point where I totally lost the plot. Ethan awakes, chained to a chair, sitting opposite his wife (also chained/bound/duct taped to a chair) who has a gun to her head. Davian asks about the rabbit foot (specifically where it is) while counting to ten. Then he shoots her in the head, because Ethan did not speak. But where is the fucking rabbit foot? Did he not just get it in Shanghai? He had something in his hand after some adventurous dangling from buildings. I was sure that was it. What happened to it?

But then Davian didn't shoot the wife at all. Or it was not really the wife. Or Davian wasn't even there to begin with, but one of the bosses was. And then Ethan does find his wife, bound and stuff and in the presence of Davian. Then fighting, shootout, and she has to kill Ethan (to later revive him again because of the implant). Where did she learn to shoot like that? Look, here is boss man again and she shoots him and the rabbit foot falls out of the case he carried. Resuscitation of Ethan only for him to find that she already saved the day without him.

Color me confused, but nonetheless entertained.

5/10

Mission: Impossible II

The story line of M:I 2 is of absolutely no importance. It is convoluted and style wins out over substance and in the end Tom Cruise takes out the bad people.

I believe that the only reason the film was made is to have Tom Cruise's majestic hair blowing in the wind. In slow motion, no less. I also believe that that is the only reason Tom Cruise let his hair grow out was so that those slow motion shots could be made. They make up what feel like half of the film, so it was well worth it for him.

Other things blowing in slow motion: women's hair (one woman in particlar), sand, a scarf.

Other majestic things about Tom Cruise in M:I 2: tight outfits, free climbing in Africa (because, of course he does that).

Other comments to be made in favor of the film: ... I got nothing.

3/10

Mission: Impossible

I have watched this film for the second time and I still don't know what the hell is going on. Double agents everywhere you look, everybody is ready to turn on you at the drop of a hat and people are dropping dead left and right. One of them Emilio Estevez, who I had totally forgotten was in this at all. Well, he barely is. Rest in peace.

To make comprehension even more difficult, people that one presumed to be dead resurface later on in the movie. They may or may not be on your side (probably not).

The cast is full of acting heavy weights. And I am not even referring to Tom Cruise here. Kristin Scott Thomas (alas, another agent we lose too early in the game), Jon Voight (good guy? bad guy? alive guy? dead guy?), Emmanuelle Béart, Vanessa Redgrave (I mean, come on), Ving Rhames, Jean Reno (who always makes a film immediately better).

Whenever the blot gets to confusing, there is an explosion to distract the cast and the audience. Or, I think that it the reason. Some of them are caused by exploding gum. James Bond didn't have exploding gum, did he? So, there.

There is also the famous Topkapi-rip-off-scene. If you do not know what I am talking about, that means you have not seen Topkapi, in which case we can never be friends.

Also, a helicopter in a tunnel dragged along by a train. Fighting, danger, gum, explosion! Such fun!

5/10