La montagna del dio cannibale (Mountain of the Cannibal God)

Italian horror films of the 1970s are very entertaining once you give in to the ridiculousness of it all. This applies to Mountain of the Cannibal God as well as to any other example of the genre. Usually, there are one or two actors of international fame. In this case: Ursula Andress (yes, she will be naked at some point) and Stacy Keach.

She travels to New Guinea to look for her husband, who is lost in the jungle. Or so she claims. Her brother Arthur (one of a long list of Italian actors that always fill up all the less important roles) and her have quite a different agenda, but require the help of the rugged adventurer played by Stacy Keach - and later one Manolo that they pick up at a mission that they end up banned from. They brought sin and death with them.

Initially, they are also aided by a handful of locals that either die or run away or go to the dark side, which in this case is a cannibal tribe. The Keach character once was captured by the tribe and had to participate in their disgusting rituals. No wonder he is all emo.

Ultimately, only white people make the destination only to be captured by said tribe. While brother Arthur becomes dinner, Manolo is held captive and the Andress character is believed to be a God's wife. See, her late husband is believed to be a God and carried a photograph of the two together. He is also believed to be immortal because a Geiger counter he carried is still ticking away in lieu of his heart.

After some more unpleasantness, the two surviving Caucasians make their escape.

3/10

A Long Way Down

Turns out Pierce Brosnan doesn't always annoy the hell out of me after all. I actually quite liked him in this. He still got way too much screen time (compared to the others) and I would have preferred more Toni Collette and Aaron Paul and less of him and Imogen Poots (whoever she is).

I vaguely remembered the story, as I had read Nick Hornby's book and very much enjoyed it at the time. The translation to screen was pretty decent, I thought. Sure, the book is better. It almost always is. And, yes, Toni Collette played the same role she did in About a Boy (Nick Hornby again and still suicidal). But I enjoyed myself anyway.

It helps that I loved Breaking Bad and - consequently pretty much anyone that was on it - appreciate Aaron Paul. So much so that it actually outweighed my dislike for Brosnan. I'm not sure I would have watched A Long Way Down with only Toni Collette tipping the scale. Lucky I did.

Another shortish review here, but that is really all I got.

6/10

Guardians of the Galaxy

What to do on a rainy day in New York City? Watch a film, of course.

Now, on paper, I should not enjoy a film like Guardians of the Galaxy. I have never been much of a sci-fi fan to begin with and I am so over comic book films and superheroes. But, you know what...it was fun.

What set it apart from the pack for me were the raccoon, Groot, and the Awesome Mix of (mostly) 1980s tunes.

Most of the full-on action scenes were downright stupid and I don't quite see the point of disguising a handsome man like Lee Pace. I mean if you got it why not show it off, ya know? Fortunately, it was also very funny (Groot FTW).

Of course, I couldn't retell the story if my life depended on it. Something with a metal globe that everyone wanted to get their hands on and the main character turned out to be much more genetically blessed than he appears...and he appears just fine, thankyouverymuch.

Zoe Saldana is showing up a different hue this time around. Here she is green instead of blue. Seriously, girlfriend needs to find herself a film that does not play in outer space.

7/10

Robin Williams, 1951-2014

Oh captain, my captain...

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

What is one to do on a 7+ hours flight? Watch a movie, of course. Preferably, a film that does not require one to think too much about what is happening on screen. So, action flick it is.

This happened midway between London and New York and the film chosen was Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Actually, it was the second attempt at a film. The first try was Fading Gigolo, which sounded awesome on paper but turned out to be very dull and it also made Vanessa Paradis as ugly and uninteresting as it possibly could, so I turned that off after a mere 30 minutes.

Unfortunately, Jack Ryan wasn't much better. After serving up the oh-so-tragic-but-totally-heroic intro of the war wounded Ryan and his way back to strength, aided by the insufferable Keira Knightly character, Ryan is recruited by the shady Kevin Costner character (I couldn't be bothered to remember any of the names) and soon appears to be the only undercover hot guy with brains available to assist in a covert operation in Russia - because that is where the bad guys still operate because Russia = bad and Hollywood simply has no other concept of any nation serving that particular purpose while still seem somewhat believable as a highly sophisticated nation (all the other baddies are in the religious extremist/Muslim category and they all live in dug-outs, wielding machine guns manufactured in the US).

Anyway, as if all of the above wasn't cliche enough, the Russian is played by a Brit. Because, of course he is. Luckily, that Brit is Kenneth Branagh (the films sole agreeable feature). He plans to attack *gasp* Wall Street. And who is the one who figures this out? The Keira Knightly character. Because, of course she does. What other purpose besides distraction device could she possibly serve?

Jack Ryan and his cohorts save the day.

Because, of course they do.

2/10

The Purge: Anarchy

Now that I have almost caught up on Masterchef Australia, I finally get around to watching actual films again. And already I am back to watching horror film.

This new chapter in a franchise that could probably go on forever, because - let's face it - this story could actually go anywhere (time and place). And why not, as long as it is this entertaining.

The Purge: Anarchy is set in 2023 and the setting - rather than the gated community of part one - is a big city, where a random group of strangers end up on the street together for some reason or other. First saved by a man out to take revenge on his son's killer (by car), they end up making their way through the night in unity. They have to fend off the usual suspects as well as military - because the people do not kill each other enough, therefore threatening an increase of poverty and the New Founding Fathers can't have that - only to end up in the middle of a family argument carried out with guns.

They constantly stumble from the frying pan into the fire, ending up as game for the rich and the beautiful. This time around, the government and the purgers doing their dirty work with and for them have a new opposition seeing through their tactics. And they fight back.

Although starting from the same idea as the first part, this is a very different film that may be missing the claustrophobia of the previous film but adds a number of new threats to the people who just want to make it through the night alive.

6/10

The Double

The Double is Richard Ayoade's second feature film after Submarine (2010) and even though the tone and pace is similar, this is infinitely darker. It has the look and feel on 1984 and the work place could be another room from John Hurt is about to enter at any moment. In comparison with this, however, The Double is almost light in topic.

Simon James, the main protagonist, has been working at the same, dingy place for 7 years but has made barely an impact. One of his co-workers actually refers to him - quite fittingly - as "a bit of a non-person". He has been pining for Hannah and spends his evenings looking at her through a telescope from the house right opposite where she lives.

One day his lonely existence is shaken by the arrival of his doppelganger, James Simon. James is everything that Simon is not - self-assured, charming, noticeable and a go-getter. After Simon's initial shock and bewilderment of why nobody appears to be fazed by the two looking exactly alike, the two seem to be getting along. But soon Simon is doing chores that get attributed to James and Hannah, of course, falls for the wrong guy.

It is all very bleak with moments of hilarity and scenes that could be right out a David Lynch film (the elderly band performing at a mandatory company event!). The film is peppered with Japanese (?) lounge music and a perfectly fitting orchestral score.

I admit that I am not a fan of Jesse Eisenberg, because I argue that he has been playing the same role in pretty much every film he is in (or, that I have seen him in). Here, at least, he gets the chance to play two characters with very different characteristics. Still not convinced that his acting chops are up to scratch, though.

Anyway, the film just keeps getting weirder and weirder (in a good way). Not many films these days are this interesting.

7/10