Argo

Think what you will of Ben Affleck's quality as an actor, but the man is a brilliant director. I will fight you tooth and nail on that. He has to date made three feature films and I enjoyed all of them immensely. Actually, I believe he got better with every film.

Anyway, my point is Argo is a great, great film.
It tells the true story of a covert mission to free six American citizens hiding in the residence of the Canadian ambassador to Iran. The six individuals fled the US embassy in 1979, while it was being stormed by angered Iranians that demanded that the US return the former Shah so that he could be properly tried in Iran. In the ensuing chaos the fact that six personnel of the embassy are missing goes unnoticed for quite some time.

Meanwhile, back in Washington the government together with the CIA is trying to devise a plan to free them. The plan they eventually go with is so ridiculous yet still makes more sense than some of the other options they entertain. The plan is to pretend to make a sci-fi film called Argo and pass the six off as part of a film production group scouting locations in Iran. To make this airtight a production company is formed, offices and all, a producer is found and actors are cast to perform a table reading for press.

They really did this in 1980 and the operation remained classified until the late 1990s. Up until then people were led to believe that the coup was thought up and put into action by Canada.

The climax will have you worried, even though you know that they will eventually all get to safety.

9/10

Thunderball

Could this be the James Bond film with the most ridiculous opening ever?

007 fights with and kills a guy in drag, fresh from a funeral where he/she pretended to be his own widow. Afterwards, the agent flies off in a jetback and drives off in a car with an installed water cannon he and his female companion use on the bad guys. And all of this happens before Tom Jones even belts out the theme song.

Of course, it has nothing at all to do with the film to come. The über-villain is once again Blofeld, in the context of this operation referred to as "no. 1". While meeting with his other numbered associates he sits behind a garage door like barrier, lowered only to cover his face. Through the joints one can see him with - *gasp!* - hair. Also, he is stroking his ever present white cat.

"No. 2" aka Emilio Largo turns out to be the villian Bond needs to fight. Finally! A bad guy with an eye patch!

The plot is yet again straight forward - SPECTRE steals two atomic warheads from a NATO plane to use as a means of extortion. James Bond spends most of the film breaking into hotel rooms and running around in shorts - we are, after all, in the Bahamas. He is assisted in his trials to retrieve the warheads (operation "Thunderball") by an old chum working for the CIA, named Felix and sporting big hair. The resident Bond girl is nicknamed "Domino", continuing the string of rather laughably named females.

All in all, despite its obvious flaws, this film is rather enjoyable. Q has a lovely scene with 007, in which he can live out his adorable grumpiness.

4/10

Bottle Shock

A light hearted comedy about the early days of Californian wine making, based on true events.

It evolves around an event that is now referred to as "Judgement of Paris". Apparently, the story of Steve Spurrier's travels to Napa Valley to bring American wines to France for a tasting (competing against French wines, of course) is only a very loose interpretation of what actually happened. This according to Mr. Spurrier himself.

Whatever the case, the film itself - true or not - is charming and has a pretty interesting cast. Spurrier is played by the always wonderful Alan Rickman. Besides him it features Bill Pullman, Chris Pine, Freddy Rodriguez and a very brief appearance by Bradley Whitford (brownie points!).

Chris Pine looks pretty awful as a young surfer dude (but, unsurprisingly, gets the girl). Other than that, the stellar cast makes this worth a watch - possibly more so than the story itself, which is more or less reduced to classic US patriotism.

We showed them French people!

4/10

James Bond Infographic

Invaders from Mars

I'm a sucker for sci-fi films of the 1950s-1970s. Futuristic gadgets that were only imagined at the time usually looked nothing like the real thing realized years, or even decades, later. Scientists were smartly dressed men that could get the girl anytime. We've come a long way towards the tech nerds sitting in basements, haven't we?

Invaders from Mars was made in a simpler time. Here grown-ups would still listen to little kids like David when they tell their stories of space ships and sand pits swallowing people that later reappear changed into robotic shells lacking all humanity.

See, David is a good child with friends in high places. His father (seemingly the first victim of the space invaders) is, after all, a rocket scientist and his young son was always looking through telescopes and listened closely to what the smart scientists had to say.

When he tries to alert the athorities he first stumbles into some unpleasent situations since the invaders work rapidly and get to some people before David does. He does find help from a beautiful young female psychiatrist and one of the aforementioned smartly dressed scientists that alert the military (obviously) after hearing David's tale.

In combat, the brave few fight off the green (!) Martians, apparently descended upon the earth to sabotage an atomic rocket. The aliens leave. Day = saved.

Or is it?

The ending calls the whole story into question. Maybe all was just in David's dream? Or maybe he had a prophetic dream? Oh my God, could he be stuck in an infinite nightmare-loop?!

5/10

Goldfinger

Goldfinger marks the first Bond film in which a renowned artist sings the so-called Bond theme. The wonderful Shirley Bassey eventually sang three Bond themes, this one probably being my favorite.

It also marks a rather unfortunate beginning for 007 himself. First, he wears a onesie, then he shows off some back hair (ew!) and he gets his lover killed. She looks very pretty when dead, of course, covered all in gold. This also started the believe that a body covered in gold dies from 'epidermal suffocation' unless you leave a patch of skin on the neck uncovered. Whereas it is possible for toxins or bacteria could enter the body through the skin pores and can lead to injury and in the worst case death, it is highly unlikely to happen in the manner depicted. But it does look pretty.

We also have the first villain played by a respected character actor, making bond villain quite an interesting gig. The late Gert Fröbe plays Auric Goldfinger, aided by his henchman/bodyguard Oddjob (and his murderous hat!). The Bond girl in this has the to date most ridiculous name (and still the legendary one) - Pussy Galore.

And on top of it all, Goldfinger also features another well-remembered scene - Bond gets straped to a table and a laser threatens to cut him in half - you know the one I am talking about. Q also gave James Bond a pimped up car to play with (and ruin).

For all the above, this remains one of the highlights of the series and one of the best Bond films to date.

9/10

The Expendables 2

The sequel to Expendables features everybody (except for Steven Seagal, luckily), this time even Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. The latter is in it just to be in it. Pure courtesy. His character is of no significance to the story.

As for the story, Stallone and his gang (oh, Lundgren, you are awesome) are blackmailed into retrieving....oh, never mind. Nobody watches this for the plot, which is as insignificant as Chuck Norris.

It's fighting, shooting, bad jokes ("I'll be back.", "Yippie-ka-yay.", something about Rambo) and bad acting. An homage to good old no-nonsense 1980s action films.

Here's a picture of Dolph Lundgren. You're welcome.

(cannot be measured in stars)