Bernie

If there ever was a role written for Jack Black, Bernie is it.

This is based on the true story of a well-liked small town mortician and his unusual friendship with a mean old woman.

Nobody likes old Mrs. Nugent. Everybody loves Bernie, who was involved in most local activities and took it upon himself to visit newly widowed little old ladies a few days after officiating over their deceased husband's funerals. One of those widows was Mrs. Nugent, loathed by everyone. She took a shine to Bernie, who appeared to be the only one to be nice to her and give her the time of day.

The friendship that sprung from his initial visit took him around the world with her money and gave him a taste of the good life. All the townsfolk maintained that he was simply being the nicest guy in the world and were impressed by how he could even stand her.

Then, one day, after Mrs. Nugent became more and more possessive of Bernie's time and jealous of his activities, he shot her and dumped her in the freezer. And there she stayed for 9 months while Bernie spun a tale of a series of strokes and a prolonged stay at a hospital and/or old people's home.

Of course, he did eventually get caught and despite confessing to the crime, the people in the small town wanted nothing more than see him go free. So much so that the DA had the trial moved to another county to get his conviction of a life sentence.

Peppered with interview sequences with the townsfolk to give it more of a real feeling and as realistic as can be with the way the everyday Texan people are made to look.

You see the real Bernie talking with Jack Black during the end credits.

Nice.

5/10

Gulliver's Travels

This film had me worried that Jack Black might go the way of Adam Sandler - appearing in films of constantly declining quality. He seems to have found his footing again (recently starring in the promising looking Bernie, which I will report on as soon as I have seen it), but Gulliver's Travels was one of his low points.

It starts off with Gulliver, who works in the mail room of a newspaper in NYC and is in love with the travel writer Darcy, handing in a sample of his 'writing'. Of course, he copied everything out of various guide books and websites. Anyway, he gets immediately sent off to a three week boat trip to Bermuda. And I mean immediately.

The infamous Bermuda Triangle takes you straight to Lilliput, apparently. There, being bigger than anyone else and coming from a (at least technically) more advanced society, he tells tall tales and beats off the villainous armada that repeatedly tries to kidnap the princess to become a lauded hero. He proceeds to behave like a giant tool and recreates time square plastered with billboards of himself (among other ridiculous, non-funny feats).

Of course, the guy the princess is supposed to marry does not buy a word Gulliver says (there is always that one non-believer in a comedy, isn't there). He goes over to the dark side and ends up blowing Gulliver's web of lies. Subsequently he gets shipped off to some mysterious, scary place, where he himself is suddenly the small person.

When Darcy - pissed off at having to do the Bermuda assignment herself now, despite her seasickness - is captured by the evil forces now running Lilliput, Gulliver's only friend comes to get him back and together they save kind and country.

Lame and painfully void of humor, which is doubly shameful as a shitload of money obviously went into this project.

<sad-headshake>

2/10