Fido

In the otherwise wholesome world of 1940's one would not expect to see zombies doing menial tasks, like delivering the morning paper or cutting the grass.

The zombie apocalypse has been averted a few years previously in the "zombie wars". And now, thanks to a collar controlling the zombies' urge to eat people, the creatures can be be put to use. Everyone in little Timmy's street has a few household zombies, but his father is scared of them. Eventually, his mom will go over her husband's head to obtain household help.

Timmy befriends him (it?) and names his new buddy Fido. Then one night, when there is a temporary hick-up in the collar, Fido kills Mrs. Henderson, the elderly neighbor who promptly turns into a zombie herself and soon a number of un-collared zombies roam the small town. Once again, the outbreak gets under control and all appears to be well again.

Fido's collar, however, continues to malfunction occasionally and he takes care of two bullies torturing Timmy. It is at this point that Timmy realizes that Fido does not try to eat him even at the times the collar malfunctions. After a few more hick-ups along the way, Fido becomes an actual member of the family.

Awww!

7/10

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

Connor and Murphy have disappeared from Boston and spent the last 8 years herding sheep in Ireland, when a hit on a priest, made to look like they did it, draws them back to clear out the leftovers.

The opponent this time around is the son of their last victim, the Italian mob boss they executed very publicly in a court room. They have to deal with a short (5'5") assassin (killer of said priest) and a whole posse of bad guys. Yet again they are aided by a few local cops as well as FBI special agent Eunice Bloom, who picks right up where agent Smecker has left off in part one.

They also get a new sidekick, Romeo, who they first come in contact with on they journey overseas. The three take out the majority of the bad guys. Of course, nothing ever goes according to Connor's cunning plans, which makes it all the more amusing.

However, it turns out that the local mob guys are not really in charge of what was orchestrated. Behind everything is someone only referred to as 'The Old Man' or, once 'The Roman', who turns out to be an old acquaintance of Poppa MacManus.

Much like part one, funny and full of quotable one liners.

8/10

The Boondock Saints

The MacManus twins, Connor and Murphy (played by Sean Patrick Falnery and Norman Reedus), kill a couple of Russian mob guys in self defense (sort of). After coming into a Boston police station, where the FBI agent Smecker (very passionately portrayed by Willem Defoe) has taken the role of lead investigator, to explain how the mobsters ended up dead they are suddenly celebrated by the media and the public for ridding the world of evil. Being religious Irish boys, they realize that this is what they should be doing - kill off bad guys.

They precede to take out big chunks of the Russian and Italian mob that infested Boston, aided by their hapless friend Rocco (David Della Rocco), who can finger any number of bad guys, having run errands for the don of the Italian side of the operations. Rocco's involvement causes some confusion for law enforcement and Smecker, at first. A lot of the killings look like professional hits (the brothers' talent runs in the family) but there is always some kills that less talented Rocco does, which stumps the investigators.

When at one crime scene Smecker finds Rocco's shot of index finger and realizes who it is he is actually hunting, he keeps the information to himself and starts aiding the crime fighting killers in any way he can. The Don has recruited a mysterious hitman, referred to as Il Duce or The Duke, to take out Rocco, who he initially believes is the only one responsible for taking out his associates.

During the bloody confrontation with the Italians, that Rocco does not survive, The Duke (Billy Connelly) arrives to take out the brothers only to realize that they are his sons he hasn't seen in a long time. The three team up to take out the last standing Italian mobster.

There is quite the cult around this film and the MacManus twins and now I understand why. The film is bloody, funny and quotable.

8/10

Gulliver's Travels

This film had me worried that Jack Black might go the way of Adam Sandler - appearing in films of constantly declining quality. He seems to have found his footing again (recently starring in the promising looking Bernie, which I will report on as soon as I have seen it), but Gulliver's Travels was one of his low points.

It starts off with Gulliver, who works in the mail room of a newspaper in NYC and is in love with the travel writer Darcy, handing in a sample of his 'writing'. Of course, he copied everything out of various guide books and websites. Anyway, he gets immediately sent off to a three week boat trip to Bermuda. And I mean immediately.

The infamous Bermuda Triangle takes you straight to Lilliput, apparently. There, being bigger than anyone else and coming from a (at least technically) more advanced society, he tells tall tales and beats off the villainous armada that repeatedly tries to kidnap the princess to become a lauded hero. He proceeds to behave like a giant tool and recreates time square plastered with billboards of himself (among other ridiculous, non-funny feats).

Of course, the guy the princess is supposed to marry does not buy a word Gulliver says (there is always that one non-believer in a comedy, isn't there). He goes over to the dark side and ends up blowing Gulliver's web of lies. Subsequently he gets shipped off to some mysterious, scary place, where he himself is suddenly the small person.

When Darcy - pissed off at having to do the Bermuda assignment herself now, despite her seasickness - is captured by the evil forces now running Lilliput, Gulliver's only friend comes to get him back and together they save kind and country.

Lame and painfully void of humor, which is doubly shameful as a shitload of money obviously went into this project.

<sad-headshake>

2/10

Quartet

At Beecham house, a home for retired musician, the annual concert celebrating Verdi's music is organized by the residents themselves.

Among them is a trio of singers, famed for their rendition of "Bella figlia dell' amore" from Rigoletto. The piece is a quartet and the fourth member of their group, the diva-esque Jean (former wife of one of the male voices in the quartet), has just waltzed into Beecham House. Her arrival has upset her former husband Reggie, who at first tries to avoid her whenever possible.

The concert this year is of particular importance, as any revenues are crucial in keeping Beecham House funded. The head organizer Cedric suggests that the quartet should perform their Rigoletto piece, which will surely increase interest in the concert. It does take some convincing, though, as Jean does not want to sing because some of her higher notes may break.

She changes her mind, however, when she learns that her former rival on the opera scene will perform an aria from Tosca ("Vissi d'arte", if you're intersted).

This is Dustin Hoffman's directorial debut and the cast is phenomenal. It includes Billy Connelly, Michael Gambon and the wonderful Maggie Smith as the ageing diva Jean.

I wanted to love the film and hoped for some more comedy, I guess. In the end, I merely liked it.

6/10