The Lone Ranger

Went to see The Lone Ranger spontaneously today. Mainly, because nothing else was showing that my friend and I could go and see together (she doesn't like horror films so The Conjuring was out, but that's ok because I'm seeing that tomorrow).

What I knew about the story beforehand is that it exists. What I knew about the cast is that it has Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer in it and I was dimly aware of Ruth Wilson's and Helena Bonham Carter's presence. Turns out....added bonus....Tom Wilkinson and William Fichtner (!), although it did take me a second to recognize him.

I gather from this showing that the story is a full-on comedy more than a western. The adventure part kicks in massively in the end, when I lost track of who was on what half of the train, which took away from the experience a little. Also, it went on way too long in my opinion (the train scene in the end, I mean).

The story is this: a group of greedy bad guys raids farms dressed as Native Americans to start a war in hopes of wiping out the Native population in the area to secretly (sort of) mine for silver (and transport it to San Francisco with the newly built railroad). The silver mine was shown to the two main baddies a long time ago by young Tonto, which cost his entire tribe their lives. That is why Tonto is a bit 'out there'. In the process all but one local rangers get killed, the one becoming (you guessed it) the Lone Ranger, no seeking justice together with Tonto.

Tonto and the Lone Ranger together are pretty funny (mostly Tonto, Ranger is hapless), the white (spirit) horse is even funnier.

Entertaining, nothing to write home about.

6/10

Dark Shadows

Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp), owner of a blooming fishing business, gets cursed by a witch for turning her away. After his parents die in an unfortunate accident, his love throws herself off a cliff, he himself becomes a vampire. But the witch is not done with him. She turns the town folk against him and they bury him alive - or, rather, undead.

Some 200 years later, his coffin is uncovered at the construction site of a McDonald's. Barnabas returns to his family home, not quite getting the hang of the new era, also known as the 1970s. Everything technical he regards as being of the devil.

He reconnects with his ancestors and works to put the family business back on its feet - once again fighting the witch, who is the new big fishing business owner.

The look of the film is classic Tim Burton - as goth as it gets. It clashes heavily with the garishness of the 1970s, in which Barnabas looks hilariously out of place.

The film is based on a 1960s TV show, that - quite honestly - I had never heard of. It does have its flaws, obviously, but it sports an impressive list of actors in roles big and small.

"Ugliest woman I've ever seen."

6/10