We're the Millers

Small time drug dealer David is mugged by a group of neighborhood punks that take his weed and all his money. As he is now in the red with the Brad, who he deals for, he has to agree to go to Mexico to pick up a large amount of drugs for "Pablo Chacon". Brad leads him to believe that he uses that name with the Mexicans.

As a cover, David rents a family - his stripping neighbor Rose, his dorky 'friend' Kenny and a girl crashing on couches, Casey - the Millers. Together they go to Mexico in an RV and pick up a massive amount of weed and go on their merry way. Unfortunately, the real Pablo Chacon shows up right after and together with a huge honcho he goes hunting for the 'family' that he believes stole his drugs.

The Millers, unaware that they are being followed, have trouble with their RV (of course) and get help from fellow RV travelers, the Fitzgeralds. The father Don works for the DEA (of course), so the Millers cannot wait to get away from them. When they go to pick up their fixed vehicle, the baddies have caught up with them but the family manages to flee.

They hit another bump in the road, when Kenny gets bitten by a huge spider (courtesy of the honcho's mother) and they have to stop for medical help right next to an amusement park (uhm...), there they run into the Fitzgeralds and Pablo again (of course). In the confusion that follows, they take out the bad guys, Mr. Fitzgerald finds out that they have been smuggling drugs but lets them go anyway. In return, David helps the DEA take down Brad and he and the rest of the Millers go into witness protection together (of course).

And, yes, David and Rose (real name Sarah) do fall in love.

6/10

Reefer Madness

This is a propaganda film from 1936 warning people about the dangers of marijuana, which is apparently more dangerous than heroin and deadly!

A trio of drug dealers try to make innocent teenager smoke 'reefer' cigarettes by luring them into their jazz parties. Because nothing makes the young folks more prone to try dangerous drugs than jazz music.

In light of what we know to day, the film is full of ridiculous claims (see above).

It was originally published by a church group - then bearing the title Tell Youf Children - but only got some recognition upon its rediscovery in the 1970s. Then, of course, it was regarded more as a comedy (if unintentionally so).

Hilarious!

5/10

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

Every boy in the high school wants to get into Mandy Lane's pants. She's allegedly still a virgin and got hot over the summer (their words, not mine).

A group of her class mates invite her out to Red's (the stoner) parent's farm, along with two cheerleaders (Chloe and Marlin) and two jocks (Bird and Luke). The only other person around is the farm hand Garth. During a night of drugs and alcohol, Mandy's former best friend Emmett - shunned because he made a boy jump off the roof towards a swimming pool (and, unfortunately, not quite making it) - starts killing them off one by one.

The first one to get it is Marlin, gravely wounded but not quite dead when Luke, heavily intoxicated, finds her by the lake. Luke is the first one to go, death by gun. Passed out Marlin gets the butt of the gun in the face (repeatedly), which leads to

DEAD CHEERLEADER ALERT!!!

The four others are at this point unaware of their friends being recently deceased. Bird then runs into Emmett and starts hitting him, before Emmett produces a hunting knife...

In the morning, Grant and Mandy have a heart to heart and we learn that nice, goody two-shoes Mandy is an orphan and that is why she is 'different' from her group of idiot friends. Awww! Then Grant gets lured away by a noise coming from upstairs. Mandy, asleep with her head on the table gets stroked by Emmett's bloody hand, so when Grant returns and sees the blood on her hair and the fridge decides that 'we need to get out of here'. As soon as the door opens, Grant gets shot in the shoulder.

Red and Chloe flee out the back door and find Luke and Marlin's bodies in a field. This leads to some making out (obviously) during which Red gets shot in the back. Chloe runs off into the fields, where she comes upon Bird's body before being chased by a car by Emmett and running....straight into the hunting knife, now held by Mandy herself (who was in on it all along). And again:

DEAD CHEERLEADER ALERT!!!

It was all really a suicide pact. But Mandy has one more surprise in store and planned to get rid of Emmett instead of dying with him. The bitch!

2/10

Performance

Sadistic thug Chas (James Fox) has to lie low for a while after an unplanned hit. He hides in the guest house run by the eccentric Turner (Mick Jagger), who is initially all but happy about the new house guest.

Chas finds his new surroundings rather laughable and doesn't approve of the bohemian life style he considers degenerate. While waiting for his new passport so he can leave the country, he gets caught up in Turner's strange world. Turner himself is a performer that has 'lost his demon' and now lives as a reclusive.

The film also includes a quasi Rolling Stones music video for the song "Memo from Turner" which is really kind of cool and actually fits right into the film.

Mick Jagger basically playing himself (I imagine) and James Fox puts in one of his best performances (IMO).

Awesomely weird.

Weirdly awesome.

9/10

Live and Let Die

The first (real) post Connery Bond (let's forget about Mr. Lazenby, shall we). I know, I know, everyone says that Sean Connery is the best Bond evah. Personally, I believe people say that because he is the original Bond. I am quite happy with Roger Moore.

For me it is thusly:
Sean Connery - like
George Lazenby - meh
Roger Moore - like
Timothy Dalton - I'll get back to you once I have seen him as Bond. My expectations are low.
Pierce Brosnan - *argh* Noooooo! Why? Why? WHY?
Daniel Craig - LOVE

Anyway, Live and Let Die. It starts off with one of my favorite Bond themes performed by Paul McCartney and the Wings. As a rule, the opening credits of any Bond film are great - very artsy and mysterious (usually with naked women).

Three MI6 agents get killed - in New York, in New Orleans and in the Caribbean island of San Monique, the dictator of which is the villain in this part of the franchise, one Dr. Kananga. There is also a mysterious Harlem drug lord named Mr. Big, that eventally turns out to be Dr. Kananga himself. Bond follows him from New York (where he ventures into a Harlem before the time when a white person would want to be caught alone there) to San Monique. There, 007 meets - and loses - his CIA associate Rosie Carver, who dies too early to be referred to as "Bond girl". This title goes to Jane Seymour as Solitaire - the virginal (until she gets bedded by 007) tarot reader employed by Dr. Kananga (the original Mr. Big).

On to New Orleans, where Bond is captured by Mr. Big's minions. He learns that the culprit uses his fellow countrymen's fear of voodoo and the occult to protect his poppy fields and keep the heroin coming. His plan is to distribute drugs for free (!) through his restaurant chain "Fillet of Soul" to increase the number of addicts and, consequently, paying customers.

Dr. Kananga's plan for Bond is that he be thrown to the crocodiles by his henchman Tee Hee (yes!) Johnson (a name that beats Solitaire, and there is also a Baron Samedi). Our hero escapes by running over the backs of the crocodiles. How about that?

Back in San Monique, Bond rescues Solitaire, who is supposed to be sacrificed, as she is no longer useful for Tarot (not being a virgin any longer and all). They have to survive a shark tank and - even after Dr. Kananga is dead - Tee Hee (who gets thrown off a moving train) before riding off into the sunset (sort of).

9/10