Goodbye Mr Snuggles

Performance

Sadistic thug Chas (James Fox) has to lie low for a while after an unplanned hit. He hides in the guest house run by the eccentric Turner (Mick Jagger), who is initially all but happy about the new house guest.

Chas finds his new surroundings rather laughable and doesn't approve of the bohemian life style he considers degenerate. While waiting for his new passport so he can leave the country, he gets caught up in Turner's strange world. Turner himself is a performer that has 'lost his demon' and now lives as a reclusive.

The film also includes a quasi Rolling Stones music video for the song "Memo from Turner" which is really kind of cool and actually fits right into the film.

Mick Jagger basically playing himself (I imagine) and James Fox puts in one of his best performances (IMO).

Awesomely weird.

Weirdly awesome.

9/10

The Spy Who Loved Me

In the year of 1977 the James Bond Travel Agency suggests a journey to Egypt, to experience the grandness of the pyramids and adjoining monuments.

While among the aforementioned monuments, Bond and his rival/associate KGB agent triple X (Barbara Bach) spend a while chasing after Jaw (yes, yes, the guy with the metal teeth) among the vast monuments - before getting chased by him in return. The objective is to retrieve a microfilm. Jaw and his assistant henchman Sandor (a rather short role) were sent by Karl Stromberg (the great Curd Jürgens) to search after said microfilm and kill everyone that comes in contact with it.

What does the villain want this time? Trigger a global nuclear war, of course. Don't they always? There is yet another train trip (a recurring Bond theme), during which Bond and triple X get attacked by Jaw again (What? You thought dumping an entire scaffolding including stones on him would get rid of him? Or even throwing him out the window of a moving train?).

The big showdown takes place in a much more elaborate venue. No, not an island. That is getting rather old and we'll get around to it again in later Bond films (Skyfall anyone?). On a big-ass ship, that captures submarines in its belly. Oh, and don't worry. There's a car chase, too.

Despite all the ridiculousness and repetitiveness, the showdown is awesome.

6/10

The Man with the Golden Gun

Roger Moore's second James Bond adventure unfortunately has nothing on his first one. The story just doesn't hold up to Live and Let Die, despite the villain in this being the great Christopher Lee, which makes it doubly sad. What a waste of talent.

Lee plays Scaramanga, a contract killer, aided by his dwarf Nick Nack (!). The female (of course) assistant Bond has at his side is called Goodnight (*eye-roll*). And as if that weren't comic relief enough, JW Pepper, the dorky small town sheriff from the previous film, is forced on us again. He is still not very funny.

The touristic adventure takes us to Asia again - this time to Hong Kong and Bangkok, where Scaramanga works for one Hai Fat. And yes, we get Asian martial arts - an entire school of martial arts students. They get knocked out by two teenage girls in school uniforms. And with that we have probably covered every cliche conceivable about the Asian continent, no?

Oh yes, there is also a flying car.

Scaramanga invests in solar energy, so he's not really that bad a guy, is he?

4/10

Live and Let Die

The first (real) post Connery Bond (let's forget about Mr. Lazenby, shall we). I know, I know, everyone says that Sean Connery is the best Bond evah. Personally, I believe people say that because he is the original Bond. I am quite happy with Roger Moore.

For me it is thusly:
Sean Connery - like
George Lazenby - meh
Roger Moore - like
Timothy Dalton - I'll get back to you once I have seen him as Bond. My expectations are low.
Pierce Brosnan - *argh* Noooooo! Why? Why? WHY?
Daniel Craig - LOVE

Anyway, Live and Let Die. It starts off with one of my favorite Bond themes performed by Paul McCartney and the Wings. As a rule, the opening credits of any Bond film are great - very artsy and mysterious (usually with naked women).

Three MI6 agents get killed - in New York, in New Orleans and in the Caribbean island of San Monique, the dictator of which is the villain in this part of the franchise, one Dr. Kananga. There is also a mysterious Harlem drug lord named Mr. Big, that eventally turns out to be Dr. Kananga himself. Bond follows him from New York (where he ventures into a Harlem before the time when a white person would want to be caught alone there) to San Monique. There, 007 meets - and loses - his CIA associate Rosie Carver, who dies too early to be referred to as "Bond girl". This title goes to Jane Seymour as Solitaire - the virginal (until she gets bedded by 007) tarot reader employed by Dr. Kananga (the original Mr. Big).

On to New Orleans, where Bond is captured by Mr. Big's minions. He learns that the culprit uses his fellow countrymen's fear of voodoo and the occult to protect his poppy fields and keep the heroin coming. His plan is to distribute drugs for free (!) through his restaurant chain "Fillet of Soul" to increase the number of addicts and, consequently, paying customers.

Dr. Kananga's plan for Bond is that he be thrown to the crocodiles by his henchman Tee Hee (yes!) Johnson (a name that beats Solitaire, and there is also a Baron Samedi). Our hero escapes by running over the backs of the crocodiles. How about that?

Back in San Monique, Bond rescues Solitaire, who is supposed to be sacrificed, as she is no longer useful for Tarot (not being a virgin any longer and all). They have to survive a shark tank and - even after Dr. Kananga is dead - Tee Hee (who gets thrown off a moving train) before riding off into the sunset (sort of).

9/10

The Croods

This film about a pre-historic family having to flee its home cave is not officially out yet. I saw it today as a (free) preview.

The Crods consist of the - even now - traditional ingredients: the over-protective father, a somewhat modern mother, the rebellious teenage daughter, the scared son, the aggressively biting baby and the 'still alive' mother in law. When an outsider, Guy, come in and warns them of the coming 'End' they have to follow him towards the sun, where 'tomorrow' lies.

The dimwitted father has the biggest issue with this. His standing as head of the family is threatened when the family starts listening to this newcomer and his daughter is totally smitten with him, as well. After they live through many an adventure together and survive (!) mostly thanks to Guy, they end up on a wonderful beach where they - presumably - live happily ever after, with Guy now firmly implanted in the family and a few pets to boot.

Cute.

6/10

The Twilight Zone: Where Is Everybody?

This is the very first episode of The Twilight Zone. Ever.

It launches with an intro by Rod Serling, in which he addresses potential buyers of commercial time. He relates what the show is about and gives a glimpse of some of the episodes to come, showing off some of the props to be used. He also boldly predicts that this is a high quality products. He turned out to be right, of course.

Where Is Everybody? is about a man walking down a country road and into an empty diner in which the music box plays at full volume and the coffee is still on the stove but nobody appears to be around. He assumes that somebody must be in shouting distances, so he gives his order anyway and starts talking away. One thing he announces is that he is not sure who he is, but he knows he is hungry and has a bit of money to pay for coffee and breakfast. He helps himself to a cup, throws a coin onto the bar and heads off down the road again.

The town he comes into is as deserted as the diner was. He tries and fails to find anybody in the shops. At one point he thinks he sees a woman sitting in a car and starts talking to her immediately, before realizing that it's a mannequin.

Not only does the man not know who he is, he also does not remember waking up. All he remembers is walking. Also, he feels he is being watched.

What is actually happening is he is an astronaut in training, confined in an empty room to test whether he can potentially stay sane locked inside a tiny aircraft. As he gets carried away on a stretcher, he starts talking to the moon he was supposed to travel to.

7/10