Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Three weeks until asteroid 'Matilda' annihilates all life on earth. Two people meeting by chance try to help each other in tying up some loose ends.

Any charm this might have had gets sucked out by Keira Knightly.

Weirdly boring.

Nice music, though.

2/10

Deck the Halls

One last brainless Christmas comedy before the season ends. This one is Matthew Broderick vs. Danny DeVito, two angry neighbors. Broderick, obviously, is the uptight one who is used to being 'The Christmas Guy' upset about DeVito's strive to make his house visible from outer space by the use of Christmas lights.

Yes, it is as shallow as it sounds.

Funniest bit:
The two men washing their eyes out with holy water because they have just seen their daughters dancing in skimpy dresses and cheered them on before they realized who they were.

Also, Kal Penn has a tiny (uncredited) role in this. I love Kal Penn.

3/10

The Joneses

The family Jones is made up of a group of pretty people that practice stealth marketing. They represent everything their neighbors want to be and as a result, improve sales figures for whatever new product they are assigned to push.

The mother power walks in the niftiest new clothes, the father mows the lawns in the newest mowers, the kids flash all their great new stuff around school and for their new friends. And the friends and neighbors bite...whether they can afford to or not.

Of course, the marketing concept gets the proper Hollywood treatment - an illicit affair, the token gay character, real romance and the big tragedy that finally cracks the shiny front the family unit put up.

Personally, I would have preferred less shine and a little bit more grit to the story. In the end it is all just as shallow as the values the Joneses sell.

3/10

Scrooged

I love this film. I watch it every year at Christmas. Every! Year!

Yes, it exploits every Christmas sentiment and it features run-of-the-mill jokes. But it has the power to reduce me to a crying mess. The scene when little Calvin starts to talk again at the end gets me every single time.

The story is the standard one. Francis Cross (Bill Murray) is a heartless network president that makes people work on a live show on Christmas Eve and has no quarrels about firing people around Christmas and giving a cheap towel to his little brother as a present.

As Ebeneezer Scrooge, Cross gets visited by three ghosts.

The ghost of Christmas past is a taxi driver that takes him back to his childhood days and the initial meeting and subsequent loss of the potential love of his life, Claire, who is everything Cross is not - kind, selfless and bighearted.

The ghost of Christmas present takes a more direct approach, in as much that she keeps hurting him - head butts, kicks in the balls and on the chin. She shows him that not everyone is as fortunate and cynical as he is. The ghost is played by Carol Kane, who is absolutely hilarious in this role.

The ghost of Christmas future is a rather frightful creature showing him a bleak future for him and all the people close to him. This one, of course, makes Cross realize that he needs to change his ways.

The grand finale features the new and improved Cross giving a heartfelt speech about the real meaning of Christmas, the reunion with Claire and everyone breaking into song, doing a group rendition of Put a Little Love in Your Heart.

Watched it. I will have my presents now!

8/10

Seven Psychopaths

This is possibly the most ridiculous film I have seen this year.

It is the story of screen writer Marty (Colin Farrell), who is stuck in writing his latest screen play and also has a serious alcohol problem. His best friend is Billy (Sam Rockwell), an all-out weirdo who makes a living kidnapping dogs and having the more trustworthy looking Hans (Christopher Walken) return them for "lost dog" rewards.

One day they acquire little Shih Tzu Bunny. Bunny turns out to be owned by gangster Charlie, who loves and misses his little doggy so vewy, vewy much.

And then...all hell breaks loose.

Scenes from a screen play in progress, gun violence, incompetent criminals, weird rabbit stroking psychopaths (Tom! Waits!), former Viet Cong posing as murderous priests, imaginary shoot-outs, actual shoot-outs and - most hilariously - a man refusing to put up his hands when faced with a machine gun wielding henchman.

6/10

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

Nothing is as heartwarming around Christmas time as a tale involving a small community, a group of children and the real Santa Claus. Santa Claus is, of course, a monster that does not reward the good kids but punishes the bad ones.

When Santa is excavated in some mountain area in Lapland, reindeer (and the excavation team) get killed and children disappear. This courtesy of Santa's Little Helpers, who look slightly scary.

A group of locals first try to extort money from the man who originally paid for the up-digging but once they realize that the man in custody is not actually Santa himself and, well, their kids are gone, they decide to take action. Santa is still frozen inside a huge block of ice and all the radiators his minions have stolen are simply not fast enough to unfreeze him before the men put the plan devised by the one left child into action.

The young boy plays bait and (together with a cargo made up from all the other, recently discovered, children of the town) lures Santa's Little Helpers away from the shed the block of ice is stored in. While they are well away from any danger, Santa gets blown to bits. His Little Helpers get retrained over the next year and are exported to serve as traditional Santa Clauses all over the world.

Christmas is saved!

6/10

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Two warnings about this film:

1) The book Salmon Fishing in the Yemen was dreadfully uneventful.
2) The film is directed by Lasse Hallström, who is not known for fast-paced filmmaking.

Thankfully, there is Kristin Scott Thomas to lighten the mood a bit becasue, quite frankly, without her there would be barely any sort of comic relief in this.

Admittedly, I barely remember the novel (tried to forget it, really). For example, I cannot remember an attempt on the Sheik's life in the book. I don't think the literary Alfred saved anybody's life.

Nothing to write home about, this.

On the plus side (besides Ms. Scott Thomas), the film features some nice scenery and Conleth Hill, whom you might know as Lord Varys in Game of Thrones.

2/10