One Million Years B.C.

This film takes us, well, One Million Years B.C. Do not look for historical accuracy, however. Here men coexists with dinosaurs (maybe this is where Sarah Palin got the idea?) and is endangered by any number of oversized creatures.

The population is divided into the Rock tribe (dark haired, rough edged) and the Shell tribe (blond and Eloi-esque), both groups unaware of the other's existence until one day Tumak fall out of the Rock tribe nest after a fight with his brother. He spends the next 15 minutes stumbling through scenery, narrowly escaping some of the creatures. He barely makes it to the sea, dehydrated and collapses. It is there that he encounters the Shell tribe. They take him in and almost immediately, he clashes with his Shell equivalent.

Eventually he runs off with Luana, the bikini clad beauty that initially rallied up her fellow fisherwomen to save him. They return to the Rock tribe, where animosity reigns because Tumak's brother tried to kill his father (and chief) while out hunting.

Luana has been picked up and flown off by one of the evil creatures and is presumed dead. When father and son go head to head in battle, the group supporting the ousted father are joined by the Shell tribe, brought by Luana,who has returned to them injured and weak.

They prevail, but then a volcano erupts and the survivors (including Tumark and Luana, of course) are molded now into one tribe, destined to brave the new world together.

Hilariously ridiculous.

4/10