47 Ronin

This is the seventh time, the (apparently) famous Japanese story of the 47 Ronin has been made into film. The tale must have quite the impact on the Japanese, as the graves of the 47 (or, there should be 46, if the retelling in this version is to be believed, shouldn't there?) are still honored and visited every year to celebrate their bravery. The films came out in 1947, 1958, 1962, 1978, 1994 and 2010 before Hollywood got its fingers on it and threw big money towards a lavish production.

The men seek revenge for their master, who has been tricked to lose his honor. But the shogun, benevolently, allowed him to day an honorable death anyway. His former samurai are forbidden to take revenge on the villain, who - for good measure - throws the number 2 guy, Ōishi, in a dungeon for a year, also the period of time he allows the master's daughter to mourn her father before having to marry the villain.

When the year comes to an end, Ōishi is freed and looks for the 'half breed' Kai, who may or may not be a demon (yes, of course he is...sort of), and who is also in love with the aforementioned daughter. Ōishi finds Kai in some Pirates of the Caribbean looking harbor (I could swear I saw Captain Jack Sparrow), where is enslaved and has to fight creatures that have been reused from the production of The Lord of the Rings, no doubt.

Together they find the other ronin, some of whom are none to happy to have Kai back. But there is a lady to save from an unhappy marriage, so they put their differences aside for the time being and go off to find weapons worthy of their cause. Luckily, a much younger Kai once fled from a magic forest, where swords grow. He leads them back their and arms the men.

The rest of the story is scheming the forbidden revenge. They suffer setbacks, mostly courtesy of the witch that the villain employs (at her worst she turns into a whirling mess of cloth and disguises herself as the evil cousin of Falkor the Luck Dragon). But they are let into the fortress of the villain on his wedding day by hiding with a theater group (Trojan horse, if ever there was one) and kick some ass, save the girl and behead the evil villain.

The shogun, ever the gentlemen, berates them for disobeying his order of non-revenge and allows them to day honorably, as well, save for Ōishi son, who is spared so that the brave man's bloodline can continue.

All this is spectacular to look at, no doubt. Who cares if the acting is wooden (it is, after all, Keanu Reeves we are looking at)? I had fun, although I cannot confirm the exact number of the ronin involved, as it seemed to fluctuate quite a bit. They officially announced themselves to be 47 at around the 1 h 23 min mark, after they had already suffered some casualties. Oh well, whatever.

A revelation this is not. The historic accuracy is highly doubtful. The acting is average at best (except for Ōishi, Ōishi is awesome). But it is beautifully shot and you can tell where the budget went.

6/10