Hitman

There is a lot of shooting in this film. Probably to be expected from a film about Hitman, but still, a lot of shooting.

The hitman in question is one of many, apparently. All of them bald, all of them with a bar code tattooed onto the back of their bald heads. The one whose story we follow was given the number 47 by the people that raised him or, rather, trained him to become what he is. He is very good at what he does. So much so that one of the top Interpol agents is trailing him. And Agent 47 himself becomes a target, four agents come after him at the same time. All four presumably had the same training he did.

Why did he become a target in the first place? That is what he is trying to find out.

When he is sent to assassinate a high profile Russian politician - and seemingly fails - he is set up by whatever agency is behind all this. Then, to save himself and the politician's whore/lover/property, he goes rouge.

Now his fellow agents, Interpol and a Russian agency are all after him. Agent 47, being as good as he is, takes out pretty much everyone that has wronged him (the casualty count is rather high) and, in the end, walks away. Also, he turns out to have a heart.

Very, very entertaining. Also, something to tide me over my current Timothy Olyphant withdrawal that set in as soon as Justified officially ended. (My poor bleeding heart!)

7/10

The Crazies

I have seen The Crazies before. I have also seen the original version of the film before. The earlier one was made in 1973 and sports all the craziness one would expect from a horror flick made by George A. Romero. The kung fu was probably the most ridiculous bit.

I much prefer the new version, for several reasons. Firstly, there is no kung fu in this. The lead is played by Timothy Olyphant, who is very easy on the eyes. And the new version is set in Iowa. Why they would change the setting from Pennsylvania in the original to Iowa in the remake I do not know.

The disaster is caused by a combination of accident and government involvement. A plane transporting a bio-weapon goes down in a body of water that supplies the county with drinking water. Very unfortunate. Not only does the water now turn the locals into the crazies in the title within a 48 hour incubation period, but the government also tries to contain not only the virus (for lack of a better word) and the information that this ever happened. The latter, of course, means that everyone - healthy or sick - has to be terminated.

The ones walking away are the local sheriff and his pregnant wife, who walk, run and fight they way out of the military controlled (or the lack of it) area. The last thing they see of their former home is a mushroom cloud. But this being the naughties, the will only end up in the next contamination area.

No revelation, to be sure, but good fun for an hour and a half.

6/10

Live Free or Die Hard

Stupid title.

The copy I watched actually announced the film as Die Hard 4.0, which I prefer. It even makes sense, since the film focusses on technology and hackers. But the official title seems to be Live Free or Die Hard. Well, so be it.

John McClane is sent to get a hacker and bring him to the FBI in DC, because there are some serious technology based security issues and several hackers have had their hands in them. Unwittingly, as it turns out. These hackers are now being killed off by the people that originally used their services. McClane saves his package, one Matthew Farrell, from death by explosion and/or multiple gunshot wounds. They will spend the rest of the film running from henchmen sent by the bad guy, one Thomas Gabriel.

Thomas Gabriel is played by Timophy Olyphant, who makes a wonderful baddie, I always thought. My earliest recollection of him is in Scream 2, where he was bad, bordering on insane. Here, he is more of an evil genius, always keeping his composure and cooly disposing of everyone who has done his part in the operation and is no longer of use to him.

An additional complication is thrown into John McClanes path in the form of his daughter, who is upset with daddy right up to the point when he is her only hope of survival. His son we will meet in A Good Day to Die Hard, which is nowhere near as good as any of the other parts.

You know what? I like this film. I am down with turning off my brain and watching Bruce Willis save the day. It's good fun.

7/10

A Perfect Getaway

It's always the ones you least suspect.

What looks like a dream honeymoon for a lovely couple about to go horribly wrong because a man/woman killer duo is roaming the Hawaiian islands turns out to be a charade played by said duo, which is actually the couple honeymooning.

First, a set of decoys is sent in. Here they come in the form of a guy that looks, sounds, acts and feels like a very bad guy. He and his hippie girlfriend are neatly pushed out of the way by the real bad guy, who plants evidence on them and has an unsuspecting bystander alarm the authorities of this 'suspicious' couple of tourists.

Then there is the big-talking cool hunky dude with his girlfriend. They are into very much in love and into drugs. He is also very handy with all kinds of weaponry. They seem like the perfect for for murderous duo in paradise. Those two turn out to be the actual targets, though.

But thanks to the killer briefly losing all ability to hit anyone properly with his gun (and then suddenly shooting and killing four guys in quick succession without blinking an eye) and his woman suddenly growing a conscience and smelling the opportunity to finally get out from under his thumb (and we know she only ever went along with killing people because he had this spell over her) the two survive. They may be all bloody but they are still very much in love and supposedly set to live happily ever after. Awwww!

Side note: Milla Jovovich can pronounce the word "Wow!" so convincingly, she is made to say it what feels like fifty times within the first ten minutes. And she is not much of an actress, is she?

4/10