Monday, March 18, 2013

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

Every boy in the high school wants to get into Mandy Lane's pants. She's allegedly still a virgin and got hot over the summer (their words, not mine).

A group of her class mates invite her out to Red's (the stoner) parent's farm, along with two cheerleaders (Chloe and Marlin) and two jocks (Bird and Luke). The only other person around is the farm hand Garth. During a night of drugs and alcohol, Mandy's former best friend Emmett - shunned because he made a boy jump off the roof towards a swimming pool (and, unfortunately, not quite making it) - starts killing them off one by one.

The first one to get it is Marlin, gravely wounded but not quite dead when Luke, heavily intoxicated, finds her by the lake. Luke is the first one to go, death by gun. Passed out Marlin gets the butt of the gun in the face (repeatedly), which leads to

DEAD CHEERLEADER ALERT!!!

The four others are at this point unaware of their friends being recently deceased. Bird then runs into Emmett and starts hitting him, before Emmett produces a hunting knife...

In the morning, Grant and Mandy have a heart to heart and we learn that nice, goody two-shoes Mandy is an orphan and that is why she is 'different' from her group of idiot friends. Awww! Then Grant gets lured away by a noise coming from upstairs. Mandy, asleep with her head on the table gets stroked by Emmett's bloody hand, so when Grant returns and sees the blood on her hair and the fridge decides that 'we need to get out of here'. As soon as the door opens, Grant gets shot in the shoulder.

Red and Chloe flee out the back door and find Luke and Marlin's bodies in a field. This leads to some making out (obviously) during which Red gets shot in the back. Chloe runs off into the fields, where she comes upon Bird's body before being chased by a car by Emmett and running....straight into the hunting knife, now held by Mandy herself (who was in on it all along). And again:

DEAD CHEERLEADER ALERT!!!

It was all really a suicide pact. But Mandy has one more surprise in store and planned to get rid of Emmett instead of dying with him. The bitch!

2/10

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