The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

Where to start with this mess?

Clary is not your normal young woman but rather a Shadowhunter which she only realizes when she starts drawing this symbol over and over. Turns out her mother is a Shadowhunter, too, that years ago stole and hid the Mortal Cup that everyone is after. One of the creepy guys that want it is one Valentine who learned to summon demons and went over to the dark side.

Then Clary gets attacked and saved and updated and armed. She crushes on Jace, another Shadowhunter, which will turn into this weird Luke/Leia thing later because, really, Valentine is both their father. There are also the aforementioned demons and werewolves and vampires and a witch but no zombies (because zombies are not real).

Also, Clary's friend Simon (who is, of course, in love with her) gets bitten by a vampire and only Clary knows and nothing ever comes of it, anyway. Not sure what the point of that was.

There is also some club hopping and double crossing and sword fights and half naked blond boys. And then there is the kitschy music moment and lots and lots of dopey dialogue.

What is really sad is that the wonderful Robert Sheehan is in this. What a waste.

Yeah, it's bad.

1/10

La cage dorée

I saw this lovely comedy about Portuguese immigrants to France and their identity issues at a showing that also featured an interview session with director Ruben Alves. Alves himself was born in Paris to Portuguese parents and with this film tried to aid people like himself in finding a place for themselves and better understanding their identity.

It is about José and Maria, a hard-working couple that never complains and both have made themselves valuable to their employers. So much so that they profit off them and trample all over them in the process. When José's brother, who he has not spoken to in 30 years, passes away he leaves the family house and wine business to José under the condition that they will keep the business going.

They are reluctant to tell anybody about it before they have really made up their minds about actually going. But then Maria's pushy sister finds out and word spreads like fire. Suddenly, their employees offer them benefits and tell them how important and irreplaceable they are. What complicates matters more is that José and Maria have two children that were born in France and have reservations about leaving.

Many funny and sentimental situations spawn from this set-up. Really charming.

8/10

The Conjuring

I have seen a lot of horror films. A lot. This is the best horror film I have seen in a long time, if not ever.

The film details the allegedly true story about a haunting in the house of the Perron family and is based on the findings of Ed and Lorraine Warren. Whether or not you buy into the paranormal depicted or, indeed, believe that such phenomena exist, the film will have you jump more than once.

It is old school horror rather than buckets of blood poured onto everyone and everything (something I am absolutely cool with in films, but find it less effective than haunting story telling). The build-up is slow paced but when the weird things start happening, they happen in spades. And it is scary. For me, it's the small things that do it, like in Paranormal Activity (the first one aka the only one that matters) the door that moved in the middle of the night, here it was hands reaching out from between clothes and clapping.

If you want to have side-to-side comparisons of the fictional vs. real people, there is an article with photos and all about it on the History vs. Hollywood website. There is also a pretty official webpage for the film.

Very, very scary and very, very good. James Wan knows what he is doing.

9/10

The Lone Ranger

Went to see The Lone Ranger spontaneously today. Mainly, because nothing else was showing that my friend and I could go and see together (she doesn't like horror films so The Conjuring was out, but that's ok because I'm seeing that tomorrow).

What I knew about the story beforehand is that it exists. What I knew about the cast is that it has Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer in it and I was dimly aware of Ruth Wilson's and Helena Bonham Carter's presence. Turns out....added bonus....Tom Wilkinson and William Fichtner (!), although it did take me a second to recognize him.

I gather from this showing that the story is a full-on comedy more than a western. The adventure part kicks in massively in the end, when I lost track of who was on what half of the train, which took away from the experience a little. Also, it went on way too long in my opinion (the train scene in the end, I mean).

The story is this: a group of greedy bad guys raids farms dressed as Native Americans to start a war in hopes of wiping out the Native population in the area to secretly (sort of) mine for silver (and transport it to San Francisco with the newly built railroad). The silver mine was shown to the two main baddies a long time ago by young Tonto, which cost his entire tribe their lives. That is why Tonto is a bit 'out there'. In the process all but one local rangers get killed, the one becoming (you guessed it) the Lone Ranger, no seeking justice together with Tonto.

Tonto and the Lone Ranger together are pretty funny (mostly Tonto, Ranger is hapless), the white (spirit) horse is even funnier.

Entertaining, nothing to write home about.

6/10

Gentlemen Broncos

Young Benjamin, an aspiring sci-fi writer, lives with Stiffler's his mother, a designer for women's night gowns, in small Utah. While on a trip to a science fiction fest he makes friends with Tabatha and Lonnie, the latter a self taught "film maker" with over 80 films (mostly trailers) under his belt.

During the event, Benjamin attends a workshop held by his idol Dr. Ronald Chevalier. During the workshop a contest is announced. People can turn in their own writing and one of the books will be published in a limited run. Benjamin hands in his work "Yeast Lord. The Bronco Years", which never makes his way back to him.

Back home, Lonnie and Tabatha set about to make a film out of Yest Lord, starring Lonnie himself and Benjamin's new friend for hire ("guardian angel"), Dusty. At the same time, Chevalier reads and likes Yeast Lord so much that he decides to steal it and publish it under his own name (with slight changes to mask the story).

The publication of the book coincides with the promotion for the film and Benjamin and Lonnie get accused of having stolen the story, rather than the other way around. Usually timid Benjamin confronts Chevalier during a book signing, which lands him in jail. Fortunately, his mother had all the books he has written since he was seven printed out and bound for his birthday, enabling him to prove that he wrote the story way before Chevalier did.

Hilariously ridiculous with a cast of laughably dorky characters (Dusty is my favorite).

6/10

Fido

In the otherwise wholesome world of 1940's one would not expect to see zombies doing menial tasks, like delivering the morning paper or cutting the grass.

The zombie apocalypse has been averted a few years previously in the "zombie wars". And now, thanks to a collar controlling the zombies' urge to eat people, the creatures can be be put to use. Everyone in little Timmy's street has a few household zombies, but his father is scared of them. Eventually, his mom will go over her husband's head to obtain household help.

Timmy befriends him (it?) and names his new buddy Fido. Then one night, when there is a temporary hick-up in the collar, Fido kills Mrs. Henderson, the elderly neighbor who promptly turns into a zombie herself and soon a number of un-collared zombies roam the small town. Once again, the outbreak gets under control and all appears to be well again.

Fido's collar, however, continues to malfunction occasionally and he takes care of two bullies torturing Timmy. It is at this point that Timmy realizes that Fido does not try to eat him even at the times the collar malfunctions. After a few more hick-ups along the way, Fido becomes an actual member of the family.

Awww!

7/10

L'année dernière à Marienbad (Last Year at Marienbad)

Here is a film that has divided cineasts since it came out.

Some hate it. It has been included in Harry Medved's 1978 book The Fifty Worst Films of all Time (and How They Got that Way), but that book also lists the likes of The Omen, Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia or Valley of the Dolls (so it needs to be taken with a grain of salt).

Some love it. Those who do (this includes me), do so passionately, it seems. Roger Ebert gave it a coveted four star review. And while I'm linking to other pages and many an article has been written about Marienbad, here is another one. You're welcome.

The story is quickly told. At a luxurious hotel in Marienbad, a man approaches a woman and tells her that they have met and fell in love the previous year at the hotel and he wants her to run away with him now. The woman, however, does not seem to recall the meeting of the year before. What complicates matters is that she is there with her husband. In the end, we don't know if the first meeting ever happened.

That is really all of the story. There are several theories of what it all means. The most common one is that the narrative is based on the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, in which the man has to convince the woman to come with him (out of the underwold) and to do so on her own account.

What we are shown is a series of breathtaking images. In wide shots the shadows do not match. The people are decked out in Chanel clothing. The pose like mannequins for a long while before they start moving. Heard words do not match moving lips.

Seeing this, to me, was utterly fascinating. And I am not usually a fan of French cinema of the 1960's and 1970's like so many others, unexplicaply, appear to be.

Love it or hate it, the film is unique and you have never seen anything like it.

10/10

The Incredible Shrinking Man

I believe I have mentioned my adoration for sci-fi films from the 1950's-1970's before. They are usually wonderous, wonderous movies. Many detail horrific events that befall a person or a group of persons (often involving aliens). Others show stories set in the future (with decidedly ridiculous lookin machines and contraptioins and also occasionally involving aliens).

The Incredible Shrinking Man belongs to the first group. It tells of the plight of one Scott Carey who - after being exposed to a strange weather anomaly (radiation! of course it's radiation!) - starts shrinking. At first, he is incredulous, only half believing that he is really getting smaller. But eventually the development cannot be ignored any longer. His clothers start sagging, his wedding ring slips off and his wife does no longer have to stand on tip-toes to kiss him.

A doctor is consulted who cannot really tell him much more but that he is in good health and initially dismisses his claim of shrinking, because people do not simply get smaller. Eventually, of course, the outside world does pick up on Scott's obvious change in statue and he becomes a curiosity and medical sensation. A glimmer of hope presents itself when his condition appears to stablize due to medicatiion and although he cannot grow again he at least sports a size now that he can be regarded as a dwarf and continue in a somewhat normal life.

But the medication wears off and he continues to become smaller at a a steady pace again. He also becomes more agitated and takes his anger and frustration out on his equally frustrated wife. He moves into a doll house and one day - while his wife is running errands - he is left alone with the family cat that promptly attacks him. Fleeing from the (to him) oversized creature he ends up in the basement. There, he not only has to navigate the difficult environment but also encounters his next nemesis - a spider. They have a number of battles that would be exhilarating to watch were it not for the quality of the special effects - or rather, lack thereof. When placed next to each other (in obviously overlapping frames) one becomes transparent and, consequently, less threatening.

Scott prevails over the beast and is by now small enough to walk through the wires on the basement window. Through his trials he has finally found a sort of peace, accepting his situation and walking out into the world with a new bravery and awareness of his own worth.

Despite its obvious flaws, quite entertaining.

8/10

The Oranges

Two families living opposite each other in small town New Jersey have been best friends forever and live the typical suburban life, the men walking/running together every day, leading the local Christmas carol group and such.

When Terry and Cathy's estranged daughter Nina returns home after breaking up with Ethan (much to Cathy's joy), things get complicated. Because rather than taking up with the neighbor's son Toby, Nina cozies up with Toby's dad David. They are found out right before they shack up in a local motel. After many apologies and some serious talking, David and Nina decide that they want to continue their affair, despite all the problems it causes for everyone involved.

Then Ethan shows up and camps on David's front lawn to win Nina back. Things finally come to blows on Christmas, when Terry and Cathy invite David's wife Paige over because she moved to a B&B and they have not seen her in a while. But when she gets there she starts running her car into her husband's Christmas decoration and nearly runs him over, as well.

In the end, Nina breaks up with David and Ethan and everyone else tries to get on with their lives.

The cast was more exciting than the film itself.

4/10

Percy Jackson 1+2

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Young, regular teenager Percy Jackson finds himself in the middle of a sticky situation. On the one hand he gets attacked by a monster that used to be his substitute English teacher and on the other hand his best friend turns out to be a Satyr, whose job it is to protect Percy and his mother. He learns that he is the son of the Greek god Poseidon.

The trouble is that Zeus' lightning bolt was stolen and the rumor is that half-blood Percy is accused of being the thief. To keep him safe, he is transported to a camp for half-bloods. But then Hades kidnaps his mother and to safe her and prevent a war of the Gods, Percy and his two sidekicks have to go to the underworld to free Percy's mother, retrieve the lightning bolt and return it to Zeus in time for the summer solstice.

The real thief turns out to be Luke, son of Hermes, who is convinced that the time of the old Gods is over and they should just go ahead and kill each other to clear the way for the next generation. Good prevails, of course, and a new hero for many films to come is born.

Was actually funnier than I expected it to be.

6/10


Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

In this second installment in the Percy Jackson franchise, the perimeter protecting Camp Half-Blood is shattered because the tree controlling/protecting is dying. The flashback tells us that the tree grew in memory of Zeus' daughter Thalia, who died protecting her friends right before reaching the safety of the camp. To save her/it and keep the half-bloods secure, someone needs to go and get the Golden Fleece, that has healing powers.

Über-achiever Clarisse gets the job, but Percy and his posse start their own quest for the Fleece because of some prophecy that says that the offspring of one of the brothers Zeus, Poseidon and Hades will either save or destroy the Gods. The trio has now become a foursome because Poseidon also had another son who is a Zyclops.

The culprit, once again, is Luke. He is still out to destroy the Gods and with the Golden Fleece he hopes to bring back to life Cronos, who had once been destroyed by his three sons. There is a big battle with the re-animated Cronos and after he is once again in pieces, the half-bloods return to the camp and let Clarisse have all the glory.

The Fleece turns out to be so powerful that not only does it heal the tree, it actually brings Thalia back to life. The film ends with a voice over by Percy wondering if the prophecy meant his spawn of the trio of brothers rather than him....part three is set, then.

6/10

The 39 stats: Alfred Hitchcock's obsessions in numbers

Go here for the article at Guardian.co.uk.

Ekstase (Ecstasy)

One of the most controversial films ever made. It simply was not customary to show full frontal nudity in 1930's cinema. What's more, it depicted two lovers in the trows of, well, ecstasy. Shocking!

Various things about it have been falsely reported: that Hedy Lamarr was the first naked woman on a movie screen (she was not), that it was the first depiction (however vage) of a sexual encounter (it was not).

The story is that of Eva, who - disappointed by her marriage - up and leaves her much older husband to return to her father's house. While out riding one day she decides to take a swim in a lake. She puts her clothes on the horse's back and goes skinny dipping. The horse runs off and gets caught again by Adam, who returns it to the naked, hiding Eva. The two fall for each other and do the nasty.

When Eva's husband comes to take her back she refuses. He returns to the nearby town, offering a ride to a young man, who turns out to be Eva's lover. The husband realizes this when he sees Eva's necklace in the man's hand. A threesome like this can only end in tragedy, of course.

Hedy Lamarr went on to become known as the most beautiful woman in film. On top of that, she was also the co-inventor of the method of "frequency hopping", now widely used in cell phones.

6/10

The Living Daylights

James Bond, in this incarnation played by Timothy Dalton, has to deal with a defecting KGB officer that is to be brought to save haven (my beautiful Vienna!) before taking him to Britain.

But is is all a ploy by the KGB guy, who in reality is in cahoots with an American arms dealer. He is also buying diamonds and with them paying for drugs. So really, he has quite a few irons in the fire. The only one to see through the original ruse - why, James Bond, of course.

The lady by his side is a lovelorn cellist who assumes Bond is helping her to reunite with her KGB agent (who is willing to sacrifice her in a flash). So we travel to Bratislava, Vienna, Tangiers and Afghanistan, always following the bad guys from the agent to the diamonds to the drugs.

Yes, it is a lot to take in.

My biggest bother is that Bond activates a bomb with a timer to blow up the drugs. The bomb is on a plane that is set to take off, shortly. Why he would the timer set to ten minutes only is beyond me. He is obviously just setting himself up for trouble. But, this is a James Bond film, so...whatever.

As for Timothy Dalton - I liked him more than I thought I would.

6/10

Doomsday Gun

The film is based on the true story of the so-called Project Babylon, which had Dr. Gerald Bull build a "supergun" for the Iraqi government.

It also details the involvement of both, the British and US Government, who aided (directly or indirectly) the building of the gun and another, smaller one, referred to as Baby Babylon.

The give it more validity, the voices of (among others) George Bush, Margaret Thatcher and Al Gore are played over the last few moments. Ultimately, the project was more or less financed by the US tax payers while the Brits looked on, profiting from the export of the components of what they officially referred to as "oil pipes".

The telling is very factual and somewhat sterile, not making any of the characters too sympathetic, which keeps them at an emotional distance. The cast is brilliant and the story itself is stirring, though.

Dr. Bull was assassinated in 1990, practically ending the supergun project. However, his technology was later used by the Iraq in SCUD missiles.

5/10

Angst essen Seele auf (Ali: Fear Eats Soul)

This is the story of the relationship between Emmi and Ali.

Everyone around them disapproves of their love and subsequent marriage - her family and friends because Ali is an immigrant. As for Ali's friends, they appear to be pretty ambivalent about it, even though Emmi is considerably older than Ali.

Emmi's children give her hell, her work mates shun her at their lunch breaks and her grocer won't sell to her anymore. Nevertheless, the two try to stick it out.

But of course the two live in different worlds and they never really stood a chance.

Bleak and probably as true as it gets without getting overly violent.

7/10

Bunny and the Bull

Recluse Stephen, who hasn't left his apartment in a year, relives a road trip through Europe he took with his friend Bunny a while back.

And it is just plain weird.

4/10

The Day of the Jackal

The survivors of the French Foreign Legion have been trying to assassinate French president Charles DeGaulle reapeatedly, making the president one of the most closely guarded man in the world. After yet another failed attempt, as a last resort, they hire an English hit man to do the job, going by the code name "The Jackal".

The film details on the one hand the minutiae preparations of the Jackal for what he considers to be his last kill, because his profile as a hired killer would be raised so profoundly that he cannot work again. The hit requires him to change names, passports and appearances several times.

On the other hand, we follow the - at first secret - investigation of the French police into the group of Forein Legion members and eventually the Jackal. They edge their way closer to finding and stopping the assassination. Obviously there are a few setbacks, most importantly leaked information.

After the Jackal finds out that his identity has been compromised and the mission is to be aborted, the pushes on nonetheless, possibly as a matter of pride.

This is one of Fred Zinneman's last films. Very dense and intriguing.

7/10

A Night to Remember

One of many dramatizations of the sinking of the Titanic on her maiden voyage.

Here, the focus is not so much on a handful of people only (as it was in James Cameron's cheesy version) but on groups representing the different classes as well as showing the entire palette of reactions to the tragedy. While some panic, some are rather incredulous, almost joking about what they never believe that the unsinkable ship will really go down.

All this it does very gracefully without all the sensationalism that was to come in later versions (again, see James Cameron). Of course, it also gives the classical visual of the often told tale of the band that continued to play until the very end.

Really good.

8/10

Exam

Eight people are in the run for a job as assistant for an elusive CEO of a company trying to engineer medication to eradicate a pandemic. The applicants are sat down in a room - each one with one piece of paper in front of them. They are told that on the sheet there is a question and they are to answer it. For this the have 80 minutes time.

When they turn their paper around it is empty. Or is it? The spend the time given them by trying to find out if words can be seen with help of liquid, lights etc. As it is also pretty clear that only one person can get the coveted job, they soon start turning on each other to try and eliminate the competition.

The candidates puzzle over the question and dissect every word they have been told. It is all very gimmicky but nonetheless entertaining and thrilling. Sometimes all you need to make a decent film is one room and a handful of actors.

6/10

King Rat

British soldiers, together with a handful of US Americans and Australians, are incarcerated in Chengi prison, Singapore. They move about relatively free but are kept in check by the ocean and jungle.

The POWs are gaunt and wearing tethered clothes, except for the US Corporal King who has established quite the florishing black market business. The soldiers he shares his hut with cater to his every whim, as they do profit off of his sense of business and survival. King pays off a number of other soldiers and gives them cuts of his earnings.

When he spots a British soldier, Marlowe, who is quite adapt in communicating with the enemy soldiers, he offers to employ him as a translator. Marlowe is not interested at first but eventually succumbs to the charms and the slightly better life offered to friends of King. The one trying to keep everyone in check and make sure that each soldier gets his fair share of rations is British Lt. Grey, who is almost too straight for his own good.

One way that Marlow profits from his friendship with King is that when he gets severely injured and is in danger of losing his arm to gangrene, it is King that pays for the medication needed to prevent the amputation.

But the end of the war also puts an end to King's reign. He - like the rest of them - has to go back to his real life, where his position is surely not as special as in the camp.

Not too spectacular but very well acted, I thought. King is played by George Segal, Grey by Tom Courtenay and Marlowe by James Fox (who I have been seeing quite a lot of lately....).

8/10