The Lorax

Here is a perfectly charming adaption of Dr. Seuss's environmental cautionary tale The Lorax. Renders the 2012 version obsolete.

8/10

The Nut Job

I like animated films. I do. But they still need to try a little harder than this.

The story is nothing new - group of animals have to work together but don't realize that their 'leader' (in this case a raccoon) is a total scumbag. They believe everything is for the good of all and listen to everything raccoon says with wide eyed wonder. Then there is the anti-raccoon, a squirrel, who is a bit of a loner and has previously crossed raccoon.

They have to find provision for the winter and it takes a multitude of shitty moves before the group wises up to raccoon's insincerity and the squirrel's bigheartedness. The story plays out with all the usual puns and nothing overly exciting happening that hasn't happened many, many times in some variation before.

There are some cute moments (mostly involving a dog) and an evil little girl scout (who is pretty awesome, to be honest) and a rat that somehow follows the title character squirrel everywhere despite the squirrel being a total asshole to the rat (which is all a front, really, because he actually likes the rat a lot but doesn't want to show so as to not taint his rough-guy front). The rat, by the way, was played by the same rat that was already in Ratatouille (a little worse for wear nowadays).

Meh.

4/10

Would You Rather

This is stupid.

Some rich idiot offers desperate people a way to get their hands on money by playing - and winning - a game. The main character is poor Iris, who needs the money to pay for her sick brother's treatments. The game is held in some remote house and the group is more or less diverse. They proceed to play "would you rather", only the choices are between electrocuting yourself or the person next to you, stabbing one person in the thigh with an ice pick or hitting another with a mean looking stick, having your head under water for 2 minutes or choose an unknown punishment in an envelope.

This sounds like quite interesting horror fair. Alas, it is not. The story plays out surprisingly boring. During the first twenty minutes or so there is nonstop music (which I am not a fan of...the concept, not the particular type of music).

The weirdest moment (I thought) comes when Iris briefly escapes out of the dining room into the vast house. She is followed by former MI5 agent Bevans, who instinctively opens the door she moments ago went through (the obvious door, the only unlocked door) and when it opens onto a flight of stairs he simply closes it again and moves elsewhere. Bevans is a surprisingly wooden and two-dimensional character.

Also, the son of the head honcho, who gets stabbed in the leg by Iris when he catches her in time before she crawls out the window, is never seen or heard from again, although obviously alive. He has been told off by his father before the game because apparently he tends to 'touch' the players inappropriately. This is never further explored beyond him trying to take advantage of the escapee.

In the end, Iris wins the game and goes home with a bag full of money only to find that her brother killed himself with pills.

2/10

Michael Glawogger, 1959-2014

Austrian Director Michael Glawogger Dies During African Shoot

Black Mirror: Be Right Back

When Ash dies in an accident, his grieving girlfriend Martha is informed about a possibility to re-create his online presence in a way that it/he could communicate with her again. Ash was basically online 24/7 and has left sufficient traces on various sites and his personality, his humor, his voice can be pieced together quite easily.

So Martha and Ash's online presence start writing to each other first and talk for hours on the phone. It is more or less like a long distance relationship. Eventually, new Ash suggests to go a step further and Martha acquires a robot? likeness of her diseased boyfriend.

This creeps me out to no end.

And it creeps out Martha, as well. Turns out, she is pregnant with his child, though. In the end, a jump years into the future is made when the girl, turning 10 (I think) is allowed to visit Ash in the attic, where he is apparently kept. Also, he doesn't age.

Probably not the best of the series but quite possibly the creepiest.

6/10

Funny People

George Simmons was prepared to die, but then a funny thing happened.

So reads the tagline to Funny People. Only things is, the film is actually at its funniest and most enjoyable while George Simmons still thinks he is going to die. Then comes the long boring bit of him visiting his ex and her kids and then her husband shows up unexpectedly. Yes, it gets really awkward, which could work well in a comedy but here just gives Eric Bana opportunity to pull strange faces (as if his starter kit face weren't strange enough).

Up until that part the film was really great, aside from the drift into potty humor (courtesy of Seth Rogan's character). What came as a surprise to me that I did not absolutely hate Adam Sandler in this. See, when he is not the one actually responsible for a story and only acts in a film, said film can be enjoyable.

Now, if only we could keep him from orchestrating his dreadful brand of humor....

Anyway, overall just okay thanks to the slow second half.

6/10

The Grand Budapest Hotel

I wholeheartedly embrace Wes Anderson's weirdness in films. If you don't appreciate the garishness of the colors and the awkwardness of dialogue you will not like this film.

The Grand Budapest Hotel is only the backdrop to a story of false accusations of murder, jail break and a strong bond between concierges of world-renowned hotels across Europe. When an elderly woman (played impeccably by the wonderful and wonderfully weird Tilda Swinton) dies and leaves the priced painting Boy with Apple (which depicts, yes, a boy holding an apple) to M. Gustave, concierge to the Grand Budapest, her family frames him for her murder. With help from a whole array of weird characters, Gustave escapes from prison and is proven innocent.

It is colorful. It is ridiculous. It is awesome.

And everyone is in it. Everyone. Ralph Fiennes, the aforementioned Tilda Swinton, Adrian Brody (sporting a fantastic hairdo), F. Murray Abraham, Mathieu Amalric, Jude Law, Harvey Keitel, Jeff Goldblum, Saoirse Ronan, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Willem Dafoe, Tom Wilkinson, Owen Wilson, Karl Markovics. Also, several cameos.

Then, of course, there is the utterly unknown Tony Revolori, as Gustave's constant companion and protege, who more than holds his own around the onslaught of brilliant actors.

The story may be contrived, complicated and told in fitful, hurried, overloaded dialogue, but this is everything we have come to expect (and love) from Wes Anderson, who has always stuck to his guns. Finally, people seem to get it on a much, much bigger scale.

8/10

The Bad Seed

The Bad Seed surely must have been one of the first films to not make the monster of the story look like one, but rather be a blond and blue-eyed perfect little girl.

When a little boy, who had recently one a medal at school - much to the chagrin of little Rhoda Penmark, drowns during a school picnic, suspicion soon falls on the girl because not only was she the last one to be seen with the boy and the medal he wore so proudly went missing. Soon, Rhoda's mother finds the medal in her little girl's possession and remembers an elderly neighbor falling to her death some while back and leaving a snow globe that Rhoda liked so much to the girl.

As if all that wasn't bad enough, there is also a lot of philosophizing about evil and the shapes it takes and are people born bad? and stuff You see the Penmarks socialize with smart people and Rhoda's grandfather himself wrote real crime stories. Also, Rhoda's mother has always had that creeping suspicion that she may not be her father's daughter and remembers some dreams she had as a child. Turns out, she is really the daughter of a legendary female murderess, making Rhoda a direct descended of evil.

Eventually, the mother decides to bring down the final judgment on her child and herself (but fails). Something I would imagine also rather rare in 1950's films. Ultimately, justice does come for the little killer.

It's dark and smart and the kid is perfectly creepy.

The downer of it all is the insufferable 'Aunt' Monica, who is around way to much and who's relation to anyone in the story is a mystery. She is extremely annoying and loud and overbearing.

The highlight is the constantly drunk Mrs. Daigle, the mother of the little boy that drowned. This is by far my favorite performance of the entire film.

A rather unusual choice, but very charming, is the way the cast members are brought in front of the camera at the end. Their names are read out as each one appears in the doorway and gets a moment of their own. And the very last frame is this:

7/10

Cottage Country

Todd and Cammie are at his family's cottage for what is supposed to be a romantic week to themselves. But then - much to their annoyance - his brother Salinger shows up unexpectedly with his girlfriend. It doesn't help the situation that the brothers are polar opposites. Anyway, the two get into a fight and Todd ends up accidentally killing Salinger with an ax. By accident, obviously.

This, by the way, is the highlight of the film. It is a sudden and hilarious WTF? moment.

Anyway, as the film progresses they first have to get rid off the brother's girlfriend. After they return from a canoe trip, during which they dispose of the body parts, the house if full of Salinger's friends. Todd and Cammie have to pretend to not have seen Salinger. Only one of the guests gets suspicious. Yep, you guessed it...he dies, but not before he alerted the local police of Sal and his girlfriend being missing.

The couple has to spin a wider net of lies to deflect any suspicions until goodhearted Todd can't take it anymore and want to turn himself in, much to the dismay of the ever more annoying Cammie. This leads to more bloodshed that leaves Cammie dead and Todd with a brain injury.

Sadly, this had so much more promise that the film never lives up to. Tyler Labine plays to his strengths as the hapless nice guy dealt an unfortunate hand, but the Cammie character was dis likable from the get-go which made her turning into a conniving bitch less interesting and not funny.

Side note, Todd's father is played by Windom Earle from Twin Peaks.

Oh, well.

4/10

Serenity

I have been slacking with my film reviews a little. This happened simply because I did not see that many actual films. Don't take me wrong, I have been watching plenty. But I have simply nursed my newly found addiction with Alan Tudyk by binge watching Suburgatory and then Firefly. Obviously, the next step would be Serenity.

Here we get the answers to all the open questions left over by the untimely demise of the Firefly. There is a new super villain, played by the wonderful Chiwetel Ejiofor. He is ruthless and refers to himself as a monster. But - most rewarding - we get the back story on River and how she got to be this deadly weapon.

It is a rousing finale to a nice little sci-fi show that makes it very clear that this is the end of the line. Not all of the beloved crew survive the big adventure. True, most only take one hell of a beating but the casualties are Shepard, who has left the ship some time earlier and is at a settlement where he offered the Serenity crew a save haven whenever needed. This is what finally causes his demise.

And we lose - after putting in one final grand performance at the helm of the spaceship - Wash, who gets impaled onto the seat he was mostly confined to while others were off having adventures.

Of course, none of this will mean anything to you if you have not watched Firefly.

What a fitting farewell to Serenity and all the people it harbored.

8/10