The Thing

An alien taking over bodies of living beings (a dog to begin with, whoever is available after) to 'imitate' the host ends up in an American station in Antarctica. Scientifically, this is new and exciting and horrifying. Definitely something the scientists and/or doctor at the station should probably try to figure out. Stat. So....

Let's put the helicopter pilot in charge!

Never mind that he drinks way more than he probably should (and why is there so much alcohol available in the middle of nowhere, anyway?) and doesn't know the difference between Swedes and Norwegians (and, boy, does that joke get old quickly!). He is Kurt Russel so to him we shall listen.

What he has going for him is clearly being the inspiration for Pharrell's ever present hat! Behold!

 

If we chose to overlook the implausibility of the worker bee running the show (and we do chose that) than we can appreciate the dark atmosphere in this and, indeed, many other of John Carpenter's films. Sadly, he seems to have lost his touch as of late, painfully obvious in his latest film, The Ward.

But The Thing was made in his heyday, when the special effects could still gross you out. The dog splits open, for Christ's sake! And a head grows legs and turns into a giant spider thingy. Awesome!

If this film were made today, however, the first Norwegian on the scene might still have been shot (in that all-American Shoot First, Ask Questions Later! attitude) but the main objective of the team of scientists (and the trigger-happy, rough guy pilot, obviously) would be to isolate the dog or anyone suspected of being an imitation to see if this cannot be used in warfare somehow.

So a lot could have been handled better if, I dunno, the guy that figured out that one or more of the team may have been infected/imitated said something to his colleagues about it. They might have had some valuable input. As it happens, when something needs to be told they tell it to the pilot first. Why? Because he is Kurt Russell.

And a good thing too, because he does have a theory on how to test who of their group is/are affected. He knows science and medicine now! He has theories! If this were indeed made today, he probably would have been a scientist because at some point it became okay for them to be tough and sexy and bad-ass. The are also allowed to be women now! Imagine the possiblities.

I don't mean to sound like I didn't like The Thing. It did what it set out to do, which is entertain and gross out.

A friend pointed out this story to me, which tells the story from the thing's perspective.

8/10