Reefer Madness

This is a propaganda film from 1936 warning people about the dangers of marijuana, which is apparently more dangerous than heroin and deadly!

A trio of drug dealers try to make innocent teenager smoke 'reefer' cigarettes by luring them into their jazz parties. Because nothing makes the young folks more prone to try dangerous drugs than jazz music.

In light of what we know to day, the film is full of ridiculous claims (see above).

It was originally published by a church group - then bearing the title Tell Youf Children - but only got some recognition upon its rediscovery in the 1970s. Then, of course, it was regarded more as a comedy (if unintentionally so).

Hilarious!

5/10

W. E.

Oooh! What pretty clothes! What pretty jewels! And such nice slow motion shots!

Well....the acting is quite good, actually.

Overall, Madonna's vanity project (not my words, but many a critic's) is way too hectic to tell a decent story. It does try to with the current day story of Wally, neglected wife by her doctor husband. She is strangely obsessed with the love story of King Edward and Wallis Simpson, as her mother and grandmother were before her. So much so that she will eventually go to Paris to meet with Mohamed Al-Fayed because he has hundreds of letters written by Wallis Simpson that she simply must! read! The scene of the actual first meeting is somewhat ridiculous. She tells him she wants to know what she gave up for him, as everyone else was so interested in what he gave up for her. Al-Fayed then does the classic, I-never-thought-of-if-that-way line.

*eye-roll*

The story of Edward and Wallis is told so fitfully it does not even tell a comprehensive story. It only shows parties and paparazzi and desperate looking people. To me, this would have been the more interesting  tale because it has the potential of being a tragedy worth telling.

But, oh what pretty clothes!

4/10

Killing them Soflty

When a illegal poker game gets robbed for the second time, a hitman by the name of Cogan is brought in to kill the guys that did it. Everybody knows that Markie, the man that runs the poker game, orchestrated the first robbery and even though now everyone is convinced he had nothing to do with the second robbery, Cogan shoots him anyway to restore order and faith in the Mob protected games.

The small time crooks that actually did it suffer similar fates, because one of them - a heroin addict - cannot keep his mouth shut and brags to his would-be drug runner about it. All of this gets complicated by another hitman brought in who causes trouble to Cogan because he is a drunk and constantly soliciting hookers.

Yes, the story is confusing with longish conversations and somewhat hard to follow. But it is pretty to watch and has quiet the noir feeling about it (all that rain).

Here is an example of a rather beautiful, if brutal, scene. Markie gets shot:

6/10

It's a Disaster

Every Sunday several couples meet for a brunch. This Sunday, however, is bound to get dramatic, because not only are the hosts about to reveal that they are getting a divorce but they also are about to share the end of the world.

There was a series of explosions of dirty bombs in town and people are urged to stay inside and board up windows and doors. Initially, they have no idea what is going on other than cable, phone reception and electricity are going out. Then the next door neighbor shows up in a protective suit and gas mask and updates them on the situation.

Before the end, however, the friends have to go over issues that have been happening within their circle in the past while trying to prepare themselves the best way they can for certain death.

The film ends with them sitting around the dinner table, each with a glass of poison in front of them and the agreement to down them all at the same time.

6/10

Anonymous

So, according to this film by Roland Emmerich (and from what I understand it reflects Emmerich's beliefs) William Shakespeare's plays where actually written by Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford, played by Rhys Ifans (in a surprisingly good performance, I only remember ever seeing him play idiots and druggies).

When the Earl solicits a lesser known playwright to stage plays that he actually wrote himself, the man agrees to do so. The play bill fails to mention any author name. When the performance is a great success and the audience cries for the playwright to come out on stage to be celebrated, the rather dimwitted William Shakespeare, an actor himself and always slightly drunk, hogs the spotlight and takes his bows.

Shakespeare is portrayed by Rafe Spall. This may actually be my favorite performance of the film, which is heavily populated by many a brilliant actor. One other wonderful portrayal is that of the (old) Queen Elizabeth I, by the great Vanessa Redgrave. Her younger self is played by her daughter Joely Richardson.

The film jumps back and forth in time, showing the story of the plays and the (alleged) rouse as well as Edward de Vere's younger years, during which he had an affair and a child with Queen Elizabeth I.

Do I believe that the story as told here has any merit? Not really. Do I care that Emmerich's (and the film's screen writer's) beliefs are probably wrong? Nope. The film is entertaining enough the way it is. You get war and intrigues, illicit affairs spawning bastards and the literary society in uproar.

7/10

Mephisto

This film is based on the book of the same name by Klaus Mann, the story of the actor Gustaf Gründgens. The book was originally published in 1956 but after Gründgens' death (1963) his adoptive son fought to have the book banned, because it portrayed Gründgens in a less than sympathetic light. Consequently, it was taken off the market in 1966. In 1981, ignoring the ban, the book was finally republished in Germany. The film came out the same year.

The main character is called Hendrik Höfgen (brilliantly portrayed by Klaus Maria Brandauer), an actor that in the 1930s initially supports the Bolsheviks but it may not even be a political statement. He simply does not concern himself too much with the political changes in his country. So ignorant is he that he is not even aware of a vote that puts Hitler in charge in 1934.

His wife, whom he married not for love but because her father had considerable influence before the Nazis took charge, leaves for France and they lose contact. Also, some of his colleagues chose to leave the country. When one actress tells him she is learning English and about to leave for America, because there is no future for literary art and theater in this new Germany she also suggests Höfgen leave, as well. His reaction, "Ich brauche die deutsche Sprache! Ich brauche meine Heimat!" ("I need the German language! I need my home!").

Höfgen stays and bends enough under the new regime to coax his way to the top and into a circle of friends of an influential Nazi. All the while, he hides a friend in his apartment and has an affair with a black dancer, until his Nazi friend suggests she get out of the country and he no longer associate with her.

He spends the best part of his career playing the role of Mephisto in Goethe's Faust. Eventually, he is handed the reigns of an important theater in Berlin. Höfgens is every inch the opportunist, convincing himself that he only lives for the theater and politics barely come into it.

from Roger Ebert's review: This is a human story, and as the actor in this movie makes his way to the top of the Nazi propaganda structure and the bottom of his own soul, the movie is both merciless and understanding. This is a weak and shameful man, the film seems to say, but then it cautions us against throwing the first stone.

The film was nominated in the Best Foreign Language category (for Hungary) at the Oscars.

8/10

Tales from the Crypt: Only Sin Deep

Hooker Sylvia wants to make her way off the street by bagging a wealthy bachelor. To get into one of his parties she needs cash for outfit and general beautification. So one night she shoots her pimp and tries to pawn off his watch and gold jewelry. The pawn shop worker offers her a wad of money for a mold of her face. Sylvia jumps at the chance and is given a 4-month window to change her mind and sorta get her face back. She does get the guy, of course.

As soon as the 4 months are over, her skin starts to age rapidly. As she missed the window by one day, she is now told to pay 10,000 $ for the return of her pretty skin. When she desperately cleans out all the valuables in her boyfriends apartment he walk into the room, not recognizing her. As he is calling the police to report the intruder she shoots him.

Back at the pawn shop she realizes that if she does get her beauty back she will end up in jail because her face is all over the newspapers and she is a wanted criminal.

I did not like this one much.

2/10

Baby Blues

Postpartum depression is a bitch. Here, a mother suffering from it while alone with her four children on a secluded farm, takes it out on her young ones. Her truck driver husband is on the road and the oldest son is left to fend for himself and his younger siblings. Sadly, this proves to be too big a task for young Jimmy.

He watches in horror as mom kills them off one by one, starting with baby Nathan. He ends up injured himself before stumbling away, hiding under hay, in the chicken coop, in the house, while desperately trying to raise alarm.

Eventually, he manages to lock her into a room...with a hatchet. Not the luckiest break. After he survives the hatched and a tumble down the stairs, mom comes after him with a shotgun. He eventually saves himself with help of an old gas oven and a book of matches.

Children die. Stay away if you cannot take that.

6/10

Ollie Klublershturf vs. the Nazis

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

Connor and Murphy have disappeared from Boston and spent the last 8 years herding sheep in Ireland, when a hit on a priest, made to look like they did it, draws them back to clear out the leftovers.

The opponent this time around is the son of their last victim, the Italian mob boss they executed very publicly in a court room. They have to deal with a short (5'5") assassin (killer of said priest) and a whole posse of bad guys. Yet again they are aided by a few local cops as well as FBI special agent Eunice Bloom, who picks right up where agent Smecker has left off in part one.

They also get a new sidekick, Romeo, who they first come in contact with on they journey overseas. The three take out the majority of the bad guys. Of course, nothing ever goes according to Connor's cunning plans, which makes it all the more amusing.

However, it turns out that the local mob guys are not really in charge of what was orchestrated. Behind everything is someone only referred to as 'The Old Man' or, once 'The Roman', who turns out to be an old acquaintance of Poppa MacManus.

Much like part one, funny and full of quotable one liners.

8/10

Intouchables (The Intouchables)

This is the true story of (very) rich Philippe, who broke two cervical vertebrae when paragliding and spends his days in a wheelchair and being cared for by a collection of employees. When the need for a new medical assistant arises, rather than pick someone with any experience in the medical film, Philippe hires Driss, who is fresh out of jail and only came for a signature to not lose his unemployment benefits.

What Driss has over all the other applicants is a devil-may-care attitude and a lust for life that Philippe desperately needs. The young man is from the suburbs and used to having to share quarters with numerous family member. Now he finds himself in an expensive town vila with - best of all - his own bathtub.

After the initial fascination with Philippe's condition (once Driss pours hot water over Philippe's legs because he can't quite believe that it doesn't hurt him at all), the two men develop a friendship that lasts until this day. The real life duo is shown right before the end credits.

Funny and heart warming.

8/10

The Boondock Saints

The MacManus twins, Connor and Murphy (played by Sean Patrick Falnery and Norman Reedus), kill a couple of Russian mob guys in self defense (sort of). After coming into a Boston police station, where the FBI agent Smecker (very passionately portrayed by Willem Defoe) has taken the role of lead investigator, to explain how the mobsters ended up dead they are suddenly celebrated by the media and the public for ridding the world of evil. Being religious Irish boys, they realize that this is what they should be doing - kill off bad guys.

They precede to take out big chunks of the Russian and Italian mob that infested Boston, aided by their hapless friend Rocco (David Della Rocco), who can finger any number of bad guys, having run errands for the don of the Italian side of the operations. Rocco's involvement causes some confusion for law enforcement and Smecker, at first. A lot of the killings look like professional hits (the brothers' talent runs in the family) but there is always some kills that less talented Rocco does, which stumps the investigators.

When at one crime scene Smecker finds Rocco's shot of index finger and realizes who it is he is actually hunting, he keeps the information to himself and starts aiding the crime fighting killers in any way he can. The Don has recruited a mysterious hitman, referred to as Il Duce or The Duke, to take out Rocco, who he initially believes is the only one responsible for taking out his associates.

During the bloody confrontation with the Italians, that Rocco does not survive, The Duke (Billy Connelly) arrives to take out the brothers only to realize that they are his sons he hasn't seen in a long time. The three team up to take out the last standing Italian mobster.

There is quite the cult around this film and the MacManus twins and now I understand why. The film is bloody, funny and quotable.

8/10

Night Gallery: The Cemetery

Rod Serling is one of my heroes. Not only did he give us the genius Twilight Zone but he followed it with the wonderful Night Gallery. Here, the episodes are divided into two or three short films, often featuring well known actors.

The introduction, yet again, is done by Mr Serling himself, standing in the darkened Night Gallery, uncovering paintings that represent the stories to come.

The Cemetery is the very fist tale (of three comprising the pilot episode). It is about the black sheep of a well off family, appearing after his uncle had a series of strokes and speeding the elderly man's demise along to get his hands on the inheritance. As soon as the uncle is dead the nephew is haunted by a painting of his uncle's that appears to be changing before his eyes. It shows a cemetery that suddenly has an extra hole, at first empty, later with the uncle's coffin inside, then with the image of the uncle leaving the family plot, coming to get the culprit. And get him he does.

The body is discovered by the uncle's butler, Portifoy, who pulled the strings on the painting hoax, only to have the painting haunt him as it did the nephew.

6/10

Tales from the Crypt: The Man Who Was Death

The very first episode of Tales from the Crypt is narrated by this charmingly handsome man:

His name is Niles Talbot and he is the executioner at a penitentiary. That is, until the death penalty in his state is abolished and Niles finds himself out of a job. However, he continues his work of electrocuting murderers that the judiciary system failed to put behind bars (you know, like Dexter does).

He branches out after a while, but before he can fry a go-go dancer in her metal cage, he gets caught....right when the death penalty is reinstated. He faces the electric chair as badly as many before him, screaming and cursing and scared as hell.

Great kick-off episode!

8/10

Kramer vs. Kramer

Even a divorce and custody drama can be devoid of all kitsch and intriguing to watch when acted out by a couple of the greatest actors ever. Case in point: Mr and Mrs Kramer portrayed by Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep.

Joanna Kramer one day up and leaves her husband Ted, who pays more attention to his job than his family, and their small son Billy. Ted is left to take over a role he never had to fulfill, that of single parent. It is trying and difficult at first, but Ted adapts his priorities, which leads him to be more available to Billy but costs him his job.

In the midst of that particular struggle Joanna sweeps back into town because she now feels fit to take over custody of her child again, which leads to bitter and sad court appearances. The judge sides - like judges often do - with the mother. Eventually however, Joanna decides to not heed the court's decision and lets Billy stay with his father.

from Roger Ebert's review: The movie has encouraged us to realize that these people are deep enough and complex enough, as all people are, that we can't assign moral labels to them.

The film won five Oscars, incl. best picture, best director, both best actor awards. The little kid who played Billy was nominated for best supporting actor, making him one of the youngest nominees ever.

8/10

The Hangover Part III

The third part of the comedy series has something the second part didn't - a plot.

It starts with Alan's family and friends staging an intervention. The wolf pack sets out to take him to a treatment facility in Arizona. On the highway they get pushed off the road by a truck and then brought in front of one Marshall, who has some beef with the evil genius that is Mr. Chow. Chow recently escaped from a Thai prison and has disappeared before Marshall could get back the gold Chow had stolen from him earlier. The only one that has had contact with him, apparently, was Alan.

Doug gets taken (again) by Marshall, who threatens to kill him unless Alan, Phil and Stu bring him Chow. The search leads them first to Tihuana and, after unwittingly assisting Chow in stealing the remainder of Marshall's gold, once again in Las Vegas.

The wolf pack manages to return the villain to Marshall, but soft hearted Alan saves Chow's life, giving him 'a fighting chance'. Marshall and company bite bullets.

And Alan finds romance! Good for him!

6/10

Un Chien Andalou (An Andalusian Dog)

This film is all imagery and no plot.

Nearly everyone has seen the famous picture of the woman's eye about to be sliced by a razorblade and this is part of the sequence that opens the film.

Other images include a man riding a bike in a nun costume.

Ants crawling out of the palm of a hand (the man's in the nun costume).

A severed hand placed in a box and given to a woman, who is subsequently run over by a car.

Grand pianos, rotting monkeys, the Ten Commandments on tablets, two priests tied in ropes draged around the floor.

The list goes on and none of it makes sense. But it's all good, because it is not supposed to make sense. Actually, Luis Buñuel and Salvador Dalí expected people to react negatively and expressed some disappointment when the opening night audience liked it. Allegedly, both had armed themselves with rocks as self-defense.

8/10

One Million Years B.C.

This film takes us, well, One Million Years B.C. Do not look for historical accuracy, however. Here men coexists with dinosaurs (maybe this is where Sarah Palin got the idea?) and is endangered by any number of oversized creatures.

The population is divided into the Rock tribe (dark haired, rough edged) and the Shell tribe (blond and Eloi-esque), both groups unaware of the other's existence until one day Tumak fall out of the Rock tribe nest after a fight with his brother. He spends the next 15 minutes stumbling through scenery, narrowly escaping some of the creatures. He barely makes it to the sea, dehydrated and collapses. It is there that he encounters the Shell tribe. They take him in and almost immediately, he clashes with his Shell equivalent.

Eventually he runs off with Luana, the bikini clad beauty that initially rallied up her fellow fisherwomen to save him. They return to the Rock tribe, where animosity reigns because Tumak's brother tried to kill his father (and chief) while out hunting.

Luana has been picked up and flown off by one of the evil creatures and is presumed dead. When father and son go head to head in battle, the group supporting the ousted father are joined by the Shell tribe, brought by Luana,who has returned to them injured and weak.

They prevail, but then a volcano erupts and the survivors (including Tumark and Luana, of course) are molded now into one tribe, destined to brave the new world together.

Hilariously ridiculous.

4/10

Film Quote

from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

The Innkeepers

Yet another ghost story.

With the owner of the Yankee Pedlar Inn vacationing in Barbados, two employees are left to man the front desk of the place in its final days. Both, Claire and Luke, are interested in ghosts and on a mission to record the sounds of one Madeline O'Malley, who is said to haunt the inn ever since she was killed and hidden in the basement.

Over the course of the last two days a total of four guests are in the house, a disgruntled mother with her young son, a former actress turned 'healer' and an old man insisting on renting a room on the already stripped third floor.

While Luke is off sleeping, Claire records the sound of a piano playing by itself, sees a disfigured ghost in a wedding gown and sits with the healer who warns her not to go into the basement. So, of course, Claire and Luke eventually explore the basement. Luke, who told of Madeline sightings before, freaks out and runs off. He also admits that he made everything up. This means that Claire is the only one to have seen the ghost of Madeline, apparently.

After she finds the old man dead of suicide, she runs off....and ends up in the basement once more where she is haunted now by not one but two ghosts, as the old guy has joined in the fun. She dies and Luke later finds her inhaler at the bottom of the stairs.

Most of this happens in the second half of the film. If you wonder what was going on in the first half - I honestly couldn't say. Basically, the film kicks off about 50 minutes in.

*shrug*

3/10

Movie 43

What. The. Fuck?

Why?

0/10